


Differential Destiny

by PunkRoxas



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe, Alternia-Focused, Apocalypsestuck, F/F, F/M, M/M, Ownership, Petstuck, Reverse Petstuck, Slavery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-10
Updated: 2015-07-19
Packaged: 2018-02-16 21:40:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 26,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2285388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PunkRoxas/pseuds/PunkRoxas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"If I only could make a deal with God and get him to swap our places."</i>
</p>
<p>Welcome to Alternia. The hemospectrum is well in effect in this large city. If you are human, you are to be processed at the Human Center. If you're adopted your fate lies with your troll owner. If you are not, be prepared to be subjected to heavy scientific testing which has a death rate of 98%. Humans are the lowest level of social status. You are lucky to be considered a pet. If you somehow manage to escape, you are considered a stray. If caught, you will be euthanized. Your tracker is to be present under your skin at all times. There is no rebellion, ignore what you've heard. Know your place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Welcome to Alternia

One really did get worked up doing this sort of thing.

Anyone would, two in the morning, a run down part of the city, running for your life. Crashing through alleyways and avoiding light sources. The smell of wet road after the rain and the residue of late night club partiers still hanging in the air. You can’t see the stars here. Most of the time, Rose thinks thats an utter shame but she doesn’t have much time for staring at the sky…Not on a night like this. Not that it matters because she’s never exactly seen stars, except in books.

On this night where your only source of food is what you can grab from the convenience store on ninth in the dead of night, stars do not matter. Armed with nothing but a hairpin for unlocking the door and a rush of not being able to stand another second feeling (and sometimes hearing) your stomach ache. On a night where the alarms go off and you take what you can get and run as if your life depends on it. Because it does. It always has.

Your name is Rose Lalonde and you live in a world where humans are on the lowest rung of a ladder. And on the highest, are the trolls.

Trolls are easily discernible from humans. They have grey skin, mostly pointed teeth and all varieties of orange shaded horns, among a slew of other differences. For one, they all have different colored blood. Where your status lies in society all depends on what color you happen to have taken. The lowest of the low, and considered a mutation, is the color of cherry red. You can imagine where this puts humans, with naturally red blood and no horns, on the society ladder.

Rose feels the water from puddles seep onto her feet inside of her torn up and tattered converse. She keeps running, well into the dark recesses of the city, dodging through several alleyways and avoiding street lamps as though they were the plague themselves. Her limbs and her lungs are aching by the time she stops in a shadowy corner of the city. She flattens herself against the brick wall, in an attempt to vanish from prying eyes.

The blonde is leaning against the grimy building and going over her spoils. Two cans of some kind of beans, a bag of potato chips and two bottles of water. The water, is extremely important. You never know what kind of disease you are risking by drinking out of a puddle on the side of the street. And since she is living on the street, disease is not something she can afford. Not that she can afford much of anything. The cans would be extremely useful…if she had a way to open them. Rose let out a grumbled sigh. Oh well. It was better than nothing.

She shoves her spoils into her backpack, slowly, she begins to locate a fire escape. It doesn’t take long to find one in this part of the city, what with the buildings on top of each other. She climbs up quickly, scaling it all the way to the rooftop to get her bearings. From all the way up here, even on this cloudy, rain filled night, you can see the upper districts. They glow faintly through the fog in the distance, buildings rising like spires up out of the ground in a clustered mess. Lights and even sounds and the iron, greasy smell of a city with entirely too much underlying corruption. Corruption has a distinct smell. Its the smell of rot and death.

Rose wonders which shimmering building is the Human Center from here.

Humans are considered lower than trolls. Sometimes, depending on the troll, lower than animals. All humans are processed at the Human Center. The Center is a large institution where humans are treated as lab rats, as well as adopted. They are kept in cages, even from birth, and are treated worse than animals. The younger you are, the more likely it is you’ll be adopted by a troll looking for a pet. A pet is then ‘tagged’ with a tracker underneath their skin in the new owners designated location and taken home. A troll can take the term ‘adoption’ however they like. Since humans are considered lower and a good amount of trolls detest them, the rules on owning one are very loose and very vague.

A troll can tear a human apart and make his or her life a living hell. They can be abused in any way possible. They can leave the house on a leash with two black eyes and a broken wrist and nobody will bat an eyelash. Some get lucky, though. Some are treated with care and some seen as companions. There are humans in the higher cooler colored districts that are even pampered. However…the older you get the likelier it is that you can be ‘returned.’ To be returned is to be euthanized. 

The fact is that humans can be a handful. They get a lot bigger than the trolls anticipate. Most humans do not live to see twenty five, and even that is pushing it. Rose is the tender age of sixteen. This is rare. Especially for a girl currently considered a stray.

Strays are not put up for adoption again if caught, unless they are at least 3 or younger. There is entirely too much chance they have diseases or imperfections and the city doesn’t like spending tax payers dollars on anything but keeping them off the street. Its a lot easier to kill a human than it is to give them a doctor’s approval. Rose knows that if she’s captured by any Center trolls, it will mean death.

Shoving her hands into her purple, tattered hoodie, the blonde makes her way back down the fire escape and through the rotting smell of the alleyway. She find her way back to the main street, crossing it as carefully and cautiously as she can. Trolls are most active at night and the hollering and growls heard that bounce off the buildings will never be something one gets used to. They always make Rose shiver. She does what she’s used to and avoids lamp posts as she slips in and out of shadows across the concrete.

It doesn’t take long for her to find a dark alleyway that is familiar. She’s slept here before. There are still remains from what once was a shelter to keep out what ever rain had been falling from the sky. It hadn’t worked very effectively and Rose had contracted a cold to which she’d been forced to deal with for a few weeks. There wasn’t a doctor alive she would trust in a city of trolls.

She doesn’t mind the weather tonight. Its not too cool but just enough so that she can wear her hoodie and feel comfortable. It doesn’t matter that she builds any kind of shelter tonight. Rose sits down and props her back up against the hard brick wall. She’s hugging her knees and trying not to eat (Or attempt, considering the cans) any of the food she’d just swiped. You get used to your stomach aching out here. Its for the best that she attempt to conserve her meager food supply.

The blonde has dark circles under her eyes but you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between those and the dirt that cakes her face. Underneath her hoodie, she’s thin to the point of seeing her ribs. Bruises and scratches and dried up blood are all common things on the human’s skin. Her white blonde hair looks ashen grey, dirty and dull. And there isn’t anything more than a sad story that her violet eyes can tell.

Rose will sleep partially through the night. This will be a rare event where she does not experience nightmares. However, her sleep will still be troubled with troll growls and fights, the muffled ramblings of a desperate beggars and the cackling of Sopor induced madness. Before dawn breaks she will run for her life from a group of a trolls who think that beating on stray humans is more fun than calling the Human Center Pickup.

This is what it means to be human. This is what it means to be lower.

This is Alternia.


	2. I Will Survive

Her blonde hair hardly seems blonde anymore although she’s still fairly certain underneath all the grime and grit, its decidedly white. Rose can’t remember what her face looks like without dirt caked onto her cheeks and bags under her eyes. Sleepless nights come often and she can’t remember the last time she’s had a proper shower. It had to have been months. Rain in the city can only do so much for one living on the streets.

Today she’s decided to lay low. Someone seems to have called the Human Center Pickup. Rose isn’t sure if the strange number of them lurking around are due to a breakout or a sighting. If there was a breakout, they were correct, the human would flee to the lowest district. This was the district Rose resided in; the slums. The issue was hiding yourself long enough to actually get there.

The Human Center was located in the heart of the city. The blood color of the district was somewhere between the Blue’s. More specifically speaking, Cerulean and Teal. That meant, that should you break out of the Human Center, you had a long trek through the lower blood colors to reach the slums. This came almost always unaided. They say there are trolls who fight for human rights, however Rose has yet to meet any. Discerning between the trolls who do and the trolls who don’t is also impossible. The consequences of trusting a troll are almost always fatal.

Therefore, unaided, humans that escape are forced to hide in the shadows and make their way through each district. It is far from impossible, but highly dangerous.

Rose is currently sitting in a dark alleyway, far enough from the eyes of those on the main street and yet close enough to see the strange number of Human Center workers walking the sidewalks. The hood of the tattered purple hoodie she wears is pulled all the way up to hide not only her face, but, her hornless head as well. If seen from the street, the assumption would probably be on her being a feral purple blood. However, Rose still takes precautions to map out an escape route in her head should she need it.

Chances of a Human Center escape, however, were nigh impossible. Rose doubted that this was the reason for the arrival of so many workers. She assumed it had everything to do with a sighting and a phone call from a higher blood. Very few had ever escaped the horrifying walls of the Human Center and those who had were all caught and killed before they’d even gone a block. Majority of the strays residing in the slums escaped from previous owners, this being Rose’s case.

Her hands thrust in her pockets, Rose decided to move. It was getting crowded in this particular spot and the longer she stayed the more likely it was she’d be stopped and asked for an ID she didn’t have. She chewed lightly on her bottom lip, standing up slowly, head down. She took a glance at the main street before walking further into the back of the alley. After a few twists and turns she comes to the end, a large chain link fence in place, blocking her path. Rose sighs and climbs her way onto a nearby dumpster to get a foothole in the links with practiced hands. She’s done this enough times to find its no obstacle.

Once she’s safely on the other side, the blonde carefully inches forward in case she ends up on another main road. This alley is just as dark as the last one and the late afternoon clouds in the sky give her good cover. Rather odd she thinks as she follows the path the dirt road takes her. One would assume that the best place to look for strays would be off the beaten path, yet they never venture back here. She chuckles quietly. That is one of the benefits of the slums. The Human Center workers fear the dark alleyways and otherwise unsafe recesses of the slums. They fear of feral trolls attacks, unprovoked, as well as either sopor induced or sopor withdrawled trolls. The slums are dangerous but at least this offers the humans a place free from trolls trained to catch them.

Most of the time.

Rose slips in and out of alleyways and dark shadows as she makes her way further into the heart of the district. It may be more run down, filthy and dangerous the further you went in but after dealing with feral trolls on a daily basis, Rose found the darker areas almost more comforting. Human Center workers would never dare come this far. On her way through one of the alleys, Rose spots a younger boy going the opposite direction she is with nothing but a loaf of bread under his arm. He nods and she nods back, both only stopping for a moment to contemplate the other. “Your warning is that the Center is poking around up in the main areas…” The boy nods, his lips are dry and cracked and his ribs are bruising. Rose turns to go about her way when he speaks up “Do you…I’ll trade you bread for water.” He croaks out, seeming as though if he speaks too much, he’ll vomit.

Rose sighs and digs her fingernails into her palms in her hoodie pocket. She only had two bottles of water in her tattered backpack and she’d already taken a few sips out of one of them. The boy was obviously showing signs of dehydration and there was no indication he had anything other than the pants and shoes he was wearing. He was smart enough to know that it was better to be dehydrated down here then to drink the water from puddles. She knew it was against her best interest to help him. She turned back to him. He had to be no older than thirteen years old with chocolate colored hair and green eyes. She scanned his upper body looking for a gash or a wound that indicated his tracker had been removed. She couldn’t find one and that set her teeth on edge. 

“…Fine.” She took off her backpack and tossed the boy the water she’d already drank from. “I promise you, I’ve contracted no disease. It would be ridiculous for me to wish death on you when I’ve probably just granted you life.” He tosses the loaf of bread to her, stale as it is, and scrambles to open the water bottle, chugging half of it down immediately. Rose sighs and shakes her head. “If I were you I would ration that. There’s a convenience store on West 119th street and if you jiggle the lock to the left on the back door, it’ll open. However, once you cross from the back of the store to the front the alarm sets off. Grab what you can and get out before the police show up.”

After putting the bread in her bag, Rose rounds the corner without a second look back. Out in the slums as a stray it was much better to be alone. Less mouths to feed, less to worry about, easier to hide, easier to run…Very rarely did you find a group of strays sticking together. If they were it was due to the fact that they had children who could not care for themselves or had literally escaped with a family. This was rare,however,once in awhile a family managed to stay together.

Here and there strays would meet up to barter goods or essentials in an undisclosed location. Not unlike the trade that Rose was just affiliated with, strays would trade goods with each other in passing. Although, the blonde felt as though the boy and his meager water supply would not last long. If he did not make it to the right street and get into the convenience store that night, Rose figured he’d be dead by morning.

The trade was not in Rose’s interest however. She figured the boy probably knew that in his desperate plea for water as it was. Bread for water was no trade. Water was the highest coveted item. You could last a lot longer with water then you could with food. And bread? Bread made you thirsty. It was the fact the boy was literally on his last legs with dehydration that made Rose cave. She couldn’t have let him die. At least she’d offered to him a fighting chance.

This was one of the main reasons Rose had never obtained a friend down in the slums. Not one that she’d kept in any case. There was one girl Rose had considered her friend, although she knew she’d never see her again. The blonde had been free of her previous owner for less than a month when she’d stumbled upon a girl who was her age. She had long black hair and round glasses that made her green eyes glint in the sunlight. Buck teeth and a smile that could easily light up a room. This girl had also escaped her owner. She took to Rose right away and seemed rather social and very friendly. The blonde, however, was skeptical of other people having not been around them much and certainly thought of the idea of traveling with someone highly dangerous. Rose avoided her.

For two weeks it seemed that no matter what she did the girl would pop up in Rose’s path. On her way through an alleyway, at a trading stop, at the top of a fire escape…After weeks of this happening, Rose figured that clearly a higher power was pushing the two together and that fighting it was a complete waste of time. They became friends. The girls name was Jade. For weeks traveling with her didn’t seem as awful as Rose had envisioned it. Having someone there for you was nice. Sharing your spoils was nice. Using each other for body heat at night was nice. As the days dragged on Rose grew extremely fond of Jade and Jade of her. The companionship however, was not to last.

Once in awhile there are raids on the slums. Raids to stop not only strays but also feral trolls causing mayhem. There are rare incidences of feral’s finding their way to the upper districts and causing mayhem. No matter the color of the blood, this is not tolerated. Rose still isn’t sure what prompted the raid in the slums that chilly Autumn morning, but however, it came. Both humans knew to avoid the main streets and to travel as far as they could into the slums, only this time, it would not be enough.

Caught in a dead end at the mercy of a wrong turn, Rose, Jade and a slew of other strays were forced to fight for their freedom, once more. Fight they did. Rose bit and scratched and even stabbed a troll who spewed his brown blood across the grimy brick walls. She swore that Jade had been just behind her. She ended up with a black eye and a bloody nose before she reached the fire escape, breaking a Center troll’s nose with a swift kick and she climbed the ladder and hoisted it up. They couldn’t reach her here, however, Rose had lost sight of Jade. She called her name and her eyes darted between every face in the crowd. She stealthily followed some of the trolls back to their trucks on the main road and desperately searched for her lost friend.

The last time Rose saw Jade was the sight of her unconscious body being loaded in cuffs and a collar into the back of a Center truck. She was covered in blood and from the color, Rose could only imagine it was her own. If Jade survived the trip back to the Center, Rose knew her fate. At her age, Jade would be euthanized immediately.

The blonde swore that never again would she team up with someone whom she knew she had no business attempting to take care of. She would blame herself for the loss of her friend for the rest of her life.

So while it was rare to see strays traveling with other strays it was completely impossible to see Rose with anyone else. There were a few that liked to trade with her and some even knew her by name but Rose had made sure to carry no ties to anyone else in the slums. She never would again. She put the dehydrated boy out of her mind.

The rest of the day passed fairly smoothly. Rose managed to crack a hole in the top of one of the cans she’d stolen from the convenience store a few days back and the peaches that were inside tasted like heaven. She ate slowly, savoring every taste that fell over tongue and she drank the juice instead of her water.

When night fell, it was growing cold again. Rose tucked her hands back inside her hoodie and quietly traversed back toward the edge of the slums. The edge was the most dangerous place to be because it teetered on the edge of the lowest blood district. Mutants mostly resided here with a few burgandy’s among the mix. Burgandy blood’s made Rose uneasy because of the similarity of her own blood. If they were allowed to live fairly in peace why not humans? Lack of horns and non grey skin, no doubt. However, she needed the confirmation of the Center trolls not lurking around at night. It was confirmed after she slipped out onto the main road, hood up and eyes down, that the Center trucks were gone and the patrolling trolls along with them.

This meant it was not a raid and someone had called in a sighting of humans they wanted picked up. Perhaps someone had taken to digging in an apartment buildings dumpster for food and the owner had gotten irritated and finally caught them in the act. Whatever the case, the Center workers were gone. Rose breathed a sigh of relief. If they had been there today the chances of any of them lurking around in the next coming days were slim to none. Rose bit her lip and as she looking up into the night sky she glanced upward at the towering buildings and lights in the distance and she wondered. Maybe tomorrow as the perfect day to go further into the districts?

Rose rarely did this and it was highly dangerous and something that most strays probably avoided like the plague itself. After Jade had been taken away Rose had grown not only restless, but reckless. She wanted a distraction and she wanted to push things. Shaking from head to toe her entire first time, Rose had donned her hoodie, pulled the hood up as far as it would go and simply walked into the lower districts. As long as her pale white hands were in her pockets and she kept her head down, nobody asked questions and nobody said a word to her.

She simply walked around the candy red blooded district for an hour before racing back to the slums. Completely enamored by the fact she’d managed an hour in a different district, Rose began to push things. She would travel further in at first but only stay for a small amount of time. Then she got even braver and worked up enough courage to go into a shop for the very first time. When the woman troll behind the counter told her hello, Rose jumped and raced out of the store back to the slums so fast she tripped on the way down a hill.

After that, however, things got easier and Rose was able to wander into shops and browse without jumping out of her skin. Nobody noticed as long as she kept her hood up. She’d seen trolls with very small horns, so most people must have assumed that was why her’s did not poke out of the top of her hood. Nobody asked questions and the blonde was able to get away with sneaking around. It gave her something to do in the least and there was always a tiny part of her that was triumphant in tricking shop trolls enough to browse. She’d grown to enjoy it.

With the Center having just paid a visit, Rose would imagine there would hardly be any around the next few days. She’d gone as far as the Gold district and had been meaning to push further. Rose knew the districts somewhat, having escaped from nearly the top of the hemospectrum. Violet. It was a long haul from all the way up there but she’d managed it slowly and carefully throughout the time span of a week. She’d laid low and taken her time. Patience was the only reason she was still alive. Staying still underneath someone’s porch, with no food or water for a day was definitely no easy task. Especially while someone was looking for you.

The next tier of district past the yellow was the olive and Rose had every intention of giving that one a shot. She had been wanting to for awhile. Her favorite shops were the bookstores. Now, do not be mistaken, most humans cannot read or write. It is up to the owner to decide whether to teach them that or not. Rose learned from someone inside the center and it had become one of her favorite past times. The wonderful thing about bookstores is the fact that most of them provide you with a place to read. You don’t have to purchase the book. So Rose was able to hide in the back of bookstores and drink her fill of reading material and nobody said a word.

There was a particularly large bookstore in the Olive district and Rose had every intention of getting herself inside of it.

Planning out her next day, Rose ambled back to an alley she knew well that was almost always unoccupied and tucked herself into a corner. She yawned and dared to take a sip of her now only remaining water bottle before she fell into a restless sleep. This time she was plagued with the usual nightmares. Monsters and demons and trolls. Languages she didn’t understand and darkness she was lost in. Finding herself speaking in tongues even she herself could not understand. And screaming. Although living in the Alternian slums, awake or asleep, you weren’t ever sure if the screams were in your nightmares or very close by.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know these first few chapters are slow but I need you guys to understand that Rose is literally struggling to survive. This is every day for her. Let's get SAD, man.


	3. Upward Anxiety

Waking is always easier then sleeping. Especially when waking involves a jolt and a jump and general defensive position. You sleep lightly when you’re in a constant state of danger and panic. A loud crash is enough to send you from sleep straight into running, however, Rose leaps from her alley corner and stands poised and ready for whatever nightmares have followed her back into the waking hours. There is a light squeaking of rats and the ever present smell of rotting garbage but nothing more. Rose relaxes her flight or fight stance and leans back against the wall with an audible sigh while she rubs the sleep from her tired eyes. 

The human glanced up at the sky, rain clouds in every direction like thick black smoke and a rumble of not so distant thunder. At least the rain might wash some of the filth from her skin. Rose never disliked the rain. When you have no roof over your head it should probably be considered and instant fuck you from mother nature, however, Rose prefers the rain. Its comforting and safe to her. It darkens the area and cleans her off. Unless of course it’s the winter months. Those, Rose is not so fond of. 

She slides down the dirt coated brick wall and checks to make sure her backpack is still present and accounted for. It would seem she hasn’t been looted today. She digs in and pulls out a can of peas. There is absolutely no way to open it and she stares at it, frustrated; as though the longer she looks the more likely the can lid is to give up and surrender to her. When she finally deems that isn’t going to be the case, she tosses it back in her bag and figures maybe breakfast can present itself in another way. 

She sets off quietly through the back alley before hoisting herself up onto a fire escape and making her way to the top. She sighs at the overcast city, the storm still threatening. It would be pretty if she wasn’t sickened by the thought of the residents that resided there. 

Then she remembered what she had planned for the day. Rose licked her lips and smiled at the storm clouds. The extra cover for going further into the districts than she ever had was absolutely fantastic. She hoped it poured buckets. After all, reading in the rain was quite comforting. 

With experienced feet, Rose slipped carefully from one rooftop to the other, knowing her way with each crisscross and jump she made. She continued on the rooftops for a good while until she found one she recognized and used a drainpipe to slowly descend the slums own personal skywalk. When her feet hit the ground she drew her hood and walked carefully onto the main street. She surveyed her location. Aside from the sopor dealing and begging homeless trolls, she was clear. 

Then the rain started, which she absolutely didn’t mind. “Perfect timing…” She whispered quietly as she stood at the base of a hill. A bent and worn sign listed her next step as the red district. This district was nothing to her now. She’d never had a single issue traipsing around this area. Of course, it didn’t provide the cover and somewhat safe feeling of the slums but it was still easy enough to navigate through and Rose knew her way. 

The human took the districts one by one and very slowly. The rain kept her calm, although she had her hands balled into fists in her tattered hoodie pockets. Every troll she passed was a threat to her. There weren’t as many out as one would imagine with the rain but there was enough that it still set the girl’s teeth on edge. However, a meager one troll would have had Rose just as panicked at forty. She breathed lightly through her nose. “Come on, Lalonde. You can do this.” 

Despite her ever growing anxiety with each district she managed to go through unscathed, she was also getting her thrill. Aside from being homeless and essentially on the run, Rose led a rather boring life. She woke up, she looked for means to survive, she slept when she could. That was every day and after awhile, trying to stay alive grew rather boring. Rose needed this. She needed this moment of terrified anxities to shake her from her daily routine. She needed to feel something that wasn’t hunger or thirst or despair. She needed life to be more than just the basic essentials of living. She needed this rush. 

So while Rose was shaking by the time she reached the yellow district, she wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. She took her steps gingerly and carefully. She didn’t want to attract attention but she didn’t want to look like a robot either. Most of the yellow district was taken without incident. A young yellow blooded (Rose assumed) troll shouted from across the street at her about violet bloods being so far down on the hemospectrum and how could she possibly stoop so low. He even call her ‘your highness’. However, Rose, not being a troll, was unaffected and kept up her walk. 

That happened now and again but it was usually not without punishment. There had been tales of lower bloods rising up to fight the higher bloods. Talks of rebellion and vicious political disagreements. They say a war nearly broke out more than once. Rose had heard of a rebellion that lingered below the districts but to even catch wind of them was difficult. Not that it would matter. Just because there was a troll rebellion that was upset about the color society didn’t mean they cared about how humans were treated. It had nothing to do with her. Rose was not a ‘lower blood’. She was of different blood. Foreign blood. She was human. She did not have the privilege to even rank herself among them. That was it. It didn’t involve her unless someone was making snide comments about her hoodie color. 

Rose found her new district. A very clean and artistically styled sign hung above an archway indicating she’d found the olive district. She let the toes of her sneakers rest just on the line but she didn’t cross in it just yet. Even though the rain had evolved into what could only be described as a storm, there were still people out and about. Rose assumed that was what happened when you lived in a city of ten million. 

Rose held her breath and let the tips of her right shoe inch forward. It wasn’t as though when you entered another district as a human an alarm went off and HC’s flooded into the streets to shoot you on sight. Rose knew this however it didn’t stop her stomach from feeling as though a million tiny needles were trying to push out of it. She shook herself and her anxieties and plunged forward, taking her first steps into the district. The further she walked the more it became noticeable just how far she’d traveled from the lower district she called her home. No…Not home. Home was something she didn’t have. In all honestly, it was something she had never had. 

This district was definitely a high shopping area. The number of larger buildings indicating as much. Rose swallowed and resisted the urge to reveal her pale hands to pull her hood down further. There were a lot of trolls here. Much more than she had ever had the displeasing anxiety to be around. The number was only so many short of a crowd and Rose could not be in a crowd. She may have wanted the thrill and being reckless may have stopped her boredom but this was a lot for her to take in. The blonde debated on going back. The risk she was taking was huge and it grew the further she walked. Was this worth her life? The answer was no. Absolutely and undeniably no. However, by the time Rose put two and two together and made the decision to turn around, she spotted her destination. 

The bookstore was two stories. It was a large scale white building that practically shown through the stormy weather. She bit her lip and her hands twitched in her pockets. She couldn’t go back now. It was right there and it was practically calling to her. She took a deep breath and glanced around. Nobody was paying her any mind. She got the occasional confused look from trolls who didn’t expect a high blood in their district but nothing more. Some would eye her up and down and then nod in understanding. They must have assumed she was a sopor addicted higher blood living in the slums. Sure. Something like that. 

The pale blonde shook her head and determination showed on her features. She had come all this way. She steeled herself before heading in the direction of the bookstore, crossing the street with other trolls as if she was supposed to be there. Maybe this was what some of them felt like living normal lives. It was…odd. Of course she was reminded they couldn’t have felt like this, not with the fear that was holding tightly to her heart and causing her blood to pump faster. No. They couldn’t have felt like this. 

When she reached the bookstore she did her best to not pause outside of the doors and walked in smoothly as though she had done it a hundred times. The smell of books made her sigh instantly. It was warm and comforting and not even the storm raging outside put Rose on too much of an edge. Being around books was the only time the human felt as though she might actually belong somewhere. She gazed, contentedly at the sheer number of bookshelves laid out before her. Her eyes roved over every spine and every case as though someone were welcoming her home. 

As she pushed further into the shop she forgot about her problems and the fact she was a homeless runaway marked for death. As she picked a book by her favorite author and tucked herself away in a corner that felt protected from the world. Rose have every intention to lose herself in the world of another. She was very much sick of her own.


	4. You Never Know When They're Satisfied

Rose was in her own world. One she’d chosen where no one was after and death was not looming over her head. She had already plowed through an entire book on the theories of Paganism in troll lore and was currently lost in another. The rain fell outside the library in the Olive district and the young homeless blonde paid it no mind. It was calming and steadying and she was focused on nothing but her book. The place smelled of coffee and literature and though Rose would give anything to even know what coffee tasted like, she was too enamored with the fact she was sitting in a comfortable chair and allowed to drink her fill of words. Is this was freedom felt like? She had a feeling she’d never know. 

This reality, however, had the human with her guard down. Her guard was actually fairly nonexistent. So when the younger troll pointed in dismay and shouted so that half the book store could hear, Rose had never expected it. “Hey!!! Your hands aren’t grey!!!” It took all of fourteen seconds for Rose’s reality to crash around in a terrible scattered mess. It was like fine china breaking across the floor and flying in a million pieces in every direction. You couldn’t pick it back up and it could never be reassembled. That was the end of it. You had also better watch your feet because if you step on a glass shard you are surely going to have it embedded in your foot. 

Rose took a moment to recover as every troll in the vicinity looked her way. When time finally caught up with her, she slammed the book on the table and threw the chair she was sitting at back. Rose might have been able to avoid too much conflict, it wasn’t as though a human was rare nor rare in public. Without owners? Yes. But perhaps she could have played it off as though her owner was simply in the building elsewhere…However, the panic that bubbled up in her chest triggered her flight response too fast for the blonde to shut it down. “Shit!!” She cursed as she flew for the exit with wild abandon, shoving trolls out of her way and scattering books. 

The clerk’s behind the desk had already alerted security without the smaller troll’s outburst. That much was certain when Rose rocketed down the stairs to the first floor and had to practically do a backflip to avoid being caught by a rather large security yellow blood. She ducked under another hand reaching to grab her and made a beeline for the doors. Rose ran because her life depended on it, because she’d finally gone too far. If caught she’d be killed, possibly on the spot for causing such a disturbance. She wouldn’t go back there. She wouldn’t. She couldn’t. She may have removed her tracker but that didn’t make her any less panicked at the idea of somehow ending up back with him. Just that thought pushed her forward. 

She would have made it too, had it not been for the woman troll simply trying to move out of the way before the small human crashed into her. Four security guards caught her easily after she hit the floor. One of them pulled her up by the back of her shirt and another grabbed her flailing arms. She kicked and screamed and tried desperately to get away or to even cause damage. Rose, however, was small and although she was skilled in fighting for her life, there were four of them. She had no chance and she knew it, human instinct to live is however an asshole. 

She felt the blow to her stomach before she saw the fist. “F-fuck, let me go!!” Rose gasped out and shuddered. She tried to shake it off but it was entirely too much for her. She felt she might vomit. She heard someone say to contact the Human Center and regained her second wind, biting on the nearest trolls arm. He shouted in pain and yanked so hard the blonde thought she was going to lose a limb. Rose gasped in panic, desperate and terrified. She'd finally gone too far. She would die here. This was her last day. What if they didn't kill her? What if they turned her into an experiment? What if the rest of her days were spent wishing for death? What if they found out she used to belong to him? He'd surely beat her within an inch of her life. She'd rather be dead. 

"STOP!" 

Among all of this chaos, trolls watching in horror and some, disgust at Rose, there was a commanding voice. Rose paused in her desperate attempt to free herself and the four security guards did the same. There was a tall troll, with pale grey skin and green eyes. Dark green lipstick shown on her painted lips and her eyes had concern in them. She was wearing a Virgo symbol and Rose blinked. Green blooded. Green like her eyes. She was dressed differently than most trolls that the blonde had seen, wearing a red skirt. But that Virgo symbol was unmistakable. She was gorgeous. 

This strange troll rushed forward gracefully as though she’d done it a hundred times and the next words out of her mouth nearly made Rose double over again. “She’s mine.” She said it with such finality that for a split second even the human believed it. Now, Rose was no idiot, however the thought of being owned by a troll again was absolutely repulsive to her. She had half a mind to protest but bit her tongue. It was death if she said otherwise. This troll was now her only way out. 

"She’s mine." The green blood repeated with a shake of her head. "I happen to lose her quite often. Though, its not intentional, she’s a bit directionally challenged." Rose bit her tongue again and tried not to scoff. The four trolls loosened their grips. When the human didn’t continue to try and shove her thumbs into their eyeballs, they let go of her limbs and allowed her to stand. The largest troll continued to hold the back of her shirt however. "You do know that it’s supposed to either be on a leash or at least tagged?" He looked rather disbelieving at this entire affair, suspicion in his eyes. 

Rose thought her heart was going to beat straight out of her chest. She was shaking from head to toe. If they found out this wasn’t the truth, Rose would be killed. She glanced back at the green blooded troll with panic evident in her eyes. The troll smiled calmly as though there wasn’t a thing to worry about and even that set Rose on edge. “That would be my fault, however, she was never very good at tolerating collars. They tend to cause her skin issues, we avoid them. I’m rather sorry she caused you all this trouble. I promise it will not happen again.” She had a commanding way of speaking, annunciating every word she spoke with precision. 

The security troll did not let Rose go, however. “She caused a bit of an uproar. If she’s yours then why did she run?” It seemed the woman had an answer for that too. “She’s a rescue. I recently acquired her through a shelter. She’s not used to being around trolls that are not out to cause her harm just yet.” Rose snorted, she couldn’t help it. This green blood was more correct than she knew. The yellow blood rose an eyebrow at her and then looked back at the green troll. "Is that so?" The beautiful troll’s eyes turned to slits and her demeanor changed to annoyed. “In fact, I would imagine that this display is not making her feel any better. I have to ask that you release her.” 

He hesitated. Rose knew why. He’d probably love to get a few more hits in, call the Human Center and see her be taken away, kicking and screaming. Finally he loosened his grip on her shirt and allowed her to stumble forward. The troll leaned down, she was much taller than Rose, and she brushed the girls dirty bangs out of her face. “What in the world have you gotten into this time?” Rose had to do everything in her power to not move away from the gentle touch. She bit her lip and did her best to not glare at her savior. The woman stood back up and shook her head. “I’m truly sorry for the issue’s she’s caused you. We’ll be going now.” 

The security trolls sighed and shook his head. “You really should have her on a leash, miss. A leash or tagged or something…She’s a fighter that one. I mean, she’s chipped right?” The dark haired beauty raised an eyebrow as though this sentence offended her greatly and placed a hand on Rose’s shoulder. “What kind of question might that be?” He looked flustered after that and mumbled something before the green blooded troll began to steer the blonde toward the exit. 

Rose readied herself. The minute they were outside she was going to be a streak through the crowd back to the slums. She was ready to rocket from her position the minute her shoes hit the concrete. Then the troll tucked her closer to her side and leaned down just enough so that she could speak without anyone else hearing. “I know what you’re thinking. You won’t make it. It’s entirely too crowded out there. It’s stopped raining, you won’t make it out of this district. They’re going to watch us. That went entirely too smooth.” 

Rose clenched her teeth. She felt sick to her stomach. This wasn’t supposed to happen. If she couldn’t run and couldn’t fight what could she do? This was a totally foreign concept to her. As they exited the shop, all eyes on them from every direction, Rose still chose to pull away when they finally made it outside. The troll rose an eyebrow and stared at her, noticing her hands shaking and her frightened stance. “…Please let me help you. I wouldn’t have gone through that if I wanted to hurt you.” She said it in that calm and commanding way and Rose wanted to believe it. She really did. She’d been burned too much when playing with fire. 

"…You’re a liar." Rose whispered. The green blood put her hands up as a gesture of resignation. "I swear. I would not have put myself in that position if I did not wish to help you. This puts me in a very dangerous area as well. If you think I cannot get executed for helping a stray human you would be very wrong." The blonde’s hands twitched but she did not move from her position. The green blood sighed. "I’m called Kanaya. You don’t have to give me your name, but please allow me to take you somewhere until night fall. You can use the darkness to get home." Rose scoffed yet again. "Home is a bit of a foreign concept to me. Whose to say you don’t just wish to keep me? I refuse to go back to that again. I’ll never go back to that. I may not be a troll but I should be allotted just as much right to freedom as you. So forgive me if I don’t think you or your species deserve a thank you from me." 

Kanaya bit her lip, a fang protruding delicately from her mouth as she glanced around her. She was getting nervous. They’d be found out at this rate. “I don’t disagree with you. This just is not the place. You have two options…The way that I see it you can take off into this crowd and be killed or tranquilized before you even reach the district line or you can come back to my hive with me and I promise you I will let you go with night fall. Please.” Rose didn’t understand how a troll could be concerned for her safety to this extent. It didn’t make sense. However, logic was logic and Kanaya was correct. Rose would die. She didn’t have any other options presented to her. 

"….Fine…" Stubborn as she was Rose did her best to relax her stance. Kanaya looked relieved which had the human even more puzzled. She did not, however, move closer to Kanaya. The troll nodded in a direction and reached out her hand. The human stared at it as though it was something very disgusting and absolutely lethal. "If we do not look as though we’re at least somewhat acquainted then I don’t believe we’re going to get much further…In fact…" The troll motioned around them and Rose realized they were attracting a crowd. When had she let her guard fall this far? She was usually so careful. She cursed and let her hand fall into Kanaya’s. It was warmer than she thought it would be. 

Rose held Kanaya’s hand while her own shook. She walked as though she was on death row. She walked like Kanaya was the beautiful reaper, leading her to her death. For all she knew, she could be right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go here we go hell yeah hell yeah. Poor Rose, she's so terrified. If she seems a bit out of character I need you guys to wait until you hear her backstory. Our Lalonde has been through quite the ordeal. Next chapter should have some insight on that.


	5. Do You Understand that We'll Never be the Same Again?

Rose was led along without much incident. She wasn't used to being out in the open like this. She tugged nervously at her hood with her free hand. There were trolls everywhere. Kanaya was leading her higher and deeper into the city, away from where she wanted to be. Away from the lower districts and what Rose considered a safe haven. She was shaking as she tugged once more on her hood, pulling it over her shoulder. The blonde lowered her head and became very interested in her torn up converse. She couldn't look at the crowd around her. Trolls. There were trolls everywhere. 

What if Kanaya called the Human Center? No, that wouldn't make sense. Why would she rescue Rose and lie about her ownership just to turn her in? What if someone knew Kanaya didn't own her? What if they asked for an ID or to see her tracker? Her tags and papers? What if they took one look at put together the rather beautiful for a troll, Kanaya and shabby, homeless, beat and battered Rose and knew? There was nothing to indicate Kanaya didn't own her but there was nothing to indicate she did. 

Ownership. To be treated as though you were an object. Purchased. It didn't matter if you had feelings or wants or needs. Your life didn't amount nor have any pull in existence. You were someone's property. At this idea, Rose did not shake from fear. She shook from anger. It was enough to make her want to pull away from Kanaya immediately. To break contact and spit on her. She knew if she did, she'd be dead in less than a few minutes. Trolls did not care about humans. Rose had to remember that. She'd been tricked and burned far too many times. She could not allow herself such ridiculous indulgence at to think that Kanaya had anything good planned for her. 

As they neared a large hive apartment complex, Rose tried to weigh her options. There really weren't any. She could easily take off into the crowd, maybe there were enough trolls so that she could throw her hood up and vanish as though she was never there? Just blend right back in? No, it wouldn’t work that way. Even if someone did believe her and Kanaya were actually property and owner they would just assume that she was a problem pet trying to escape. There was no way out. The troll was right, someone who had seen the bookshop debacle was probably watching them. In a city this corrupt, there were eyes everywhere. 

Rose did nothing but shake even more as they climbed outdoor stairs to the complex. Her breathing was heavy and she did her best to not be thrown head long into an actual panic attack. Kanaya bit her lip and hesitated before she rubbed soft circles with her thumb against the human's pale hand. Rose probably would have found that calming if she wasn't thinking that this might be the last time she was free. Once she set foot in Kanaya's hive was there any chance she'd actually come out? 

"Relax." Kanaya spoke softly and it still made Rose jump. "I promised you I would let you leave as soon as night fell. I won't keep you. You have my word." Even in her terrified state, the blonde still managed to snort and roll her eyes. "As though...I would t-trust the word of a troll. You may have saved me but I have no indication it was not for an ulterior and selfish motive." Kanaya raised an eyebrow as they neared the door to her home, impressed. "You have quite the vocabulary for a human. I suppose the book shop is an indication that you can read as well?" Rose forced a fake laugh which was an unnerving sound, coming from her terrified voice. "Yes. I forgot that humans are pathetic and rather stupid creatures who are not capable of moving past much of your basic needs of thought. Or...that is how you see us, isn't it?" Kanaya made a soft, sad noise but said nothing more. Did she look ashamed? No. She couldn't. If she did it was because Rose had thrown the truth at her. That was all it could have been. 

The troll fished keys out and slid them into the lock, turning the mechanism with practiced hands. Rose felt sick. Her heart hammered in her chest as though it was going to burst from her person. The hive complex was rather high end but this did nothing to ease her fears. Rose had seen the inside of a high end hive for years. Kanaya had taken her so far into the city that she was fairly certain they had reached the green district. She was too high. She was teetering far too close to the high bloods. 

Maybe if she was in some sort of rebellion or had any connection to the underground human organizations she would have attempted to run and seek them out, but she didn't. They said that the rebellion did exist, it was simply quiet as of late. They say that they reside in all of the districts hiding in plain sight or underneath the streets. Rose had never had interest in befriending humans whose agenda's were to dethrone the highest of the bloods. That was more dangerous work than one could conceive. It also was not a realistic goal to the blonde for many reasons. 

Rose had heard the rumors and knew the facts. There was a troll at the very top of the Hemospectrum, respectively. She was considered their queen and their nightmare. Even the trolls spoke of her in terror. She ran the entire city and had her claws in basically everything. A pink blood. Rose knew little of her other than her position of power and that she instilled fear. A very large amount of fear. 

There were rumors that humans were trying to band together to assassinate her. Rumors of humans even working together with trolls. Rose had no interest in putting herself in harms way to attempt something that seemed so out of reach. Human's hardly had the majority of support from other trolls. Rose had never even met a troll who was active in human rights. There was no way that a bunch of starved and beaten down lower individuals could rise against someone like that.   
It was suicide to her. That, and Rose had no desire to get close to people she would only lose. Jade had been very interested in fighting the good fight and Rose had lost her. She wouldn't put herself through that kind of turmoil again for such an unattainable goal. In this position, thoughts of Jade were lethal and the blonde pushed them out of her head.   
The options were Kanaya or death. Though no matter how much Rose told herself that, death was starting to sound better and better as the troll entered the hallway of her home and motioned for her to do the same. The blonde stood in the doorway, shaking from head to toe and did her best to not bolt the other direction. When was the last time she had even entered a hive? Being inside the bookstore was one thing but this was a troll hive. There was only one exit. One way in or out and once inside she highly doubted Kanaya would be very likely to allow her access to the front door. 

Thoughts swirled into Rose's head. How big was the hive? Was this the absolute only way out? How high up were they? Did she have access to a window? A drainpipe outside the window to shimmy down? Would Kanaya lock the door behind her? Could she unlock it or would she need a key? Would she be allowed free reign of the premises or put into a cage? Would a perimeter be marked out for her? 

Kanaya saw Rose's verge of a breakdown and bit her lip again. She didn't want to reach out because she had a feeling that touching the fragile girl would result negatively. She knew this couldn't be easy for her but she didn't think the girl would have a breakdown about entering her home. What exactly had this human been through that would cause her to be so terrified of some walls and a roof? The raven haired beauty could only imagine. Whatever it was, it was bad. That much was obvious.   
"The door only locks on the inside and if you like I can leave it unlocked...I promise there isn't any obstruction or reason that you will not be able to leave this place if you wish once you are inside. Please, trust me. I would not have saved you to condemn you." 

Rose grit her teeth. She didn't believe a word. She couldn't. She wouldn't. However, she could only stand in the doorway having a mental breakdown for so long. If any of Kanaya's neighbors came home, it would be quite the odd sight and if the blonde had to deal with any more trolls today she was going to lose herself even more. 

The blonde took a terrified shaky breath of air before taking a step onto the square patch of hardwood floor that made up the foyer. She inched forward very carefully and when Kanaya closed the door behind her, the click sounded like a guillotine. Rose stood rooted to the spot as the taller troll stepped delicately around her. "…I highly doubt its going to be rather comfortable for you to stand in the foyer until night fall. It is only around eleven." She gave a small half smile, hoping to relax the girl. 

It didn't work. Rose swallowed hard and her terrified violet eyes still shown with fire. She was shaking so it was demeaning to the fact that Rose was also glaring. She was glaring with a lot of hate which Kanaya translated into hurt more than anything. The troll had a million questions for the human girl standing rigidly in her foyer, but she held herself back. The dirty blonde was hardly in a position to move let alone spill her backstory. Kanaya would have a hard time simply getting her name. 

She sighed and crossed her arms. "At any rate, I suppose nothing I say is going to reassure you that I have no ill intentions towards you...Therefore, that means I have some proving to do." She glanced Rose up and down and shook her head. "May I at least clean you up and perhaps offer you a hot meal?" Rose twitched and bit her lip, her feet shifting underneath her. What did that mean? She was no one's animal anymore. She didn't need taken care of or looked after. Was Kanaya trying to make Rose feel as though she should stay? To condition her with kindness? 

"...I'm fine." Kanaya snorted and rolled her eyes. "Yes, you seem in perfect health. If your tattered and filthy clothes did not betray you then perhaps you should take a look at your faded skin. I am no doctor but I can recognize someone who needs help. You need not put on a farce for my sake. You're here for the rest of the day and I would very much like to help you if you'll allow it." 

Rose shuffled again and her posture relaxed just slightly. It was tempting. She needed a shower, there was no debate on that front. She was filthy to the point of worrying that brushing up against anything in the troll's hive would result in a dirt smudging. Speaking of Kanaya's hive, it was rather nice from what Rose could see. The hallway seemed to lead to an expansive kitchen down and to the right that further opened up into a living room. There was a porch with a sliding glass door beyond that and Rose made a mental note to list that as a possible escape route if necessary. There was another branch off to the hallway to the left that probably led to the bathroom and bedrooms. It was decorated very well and clean as could be. Rose could tell that Kanaya was well off though she wasn't sure why this green blood had an apartment to rival that of a purple blood. It was odd to her. What exactly did Kanaya do that allowed her to live so well? 

Rose ran a hand through her greasy, dull blonde hair and glanced nervously behind her at the door. Hopefully she'd be leaving through it later that evening. No. She would. She refused to get trapped here. The walls and ceiling were enough to make her go into a panic attack and she kept herself in check by ignoring them.   
The troll sighed and shook her head, taking off her heels and motioning for Rose to follow her down the hallway. "Either way I'm going to make food. You can have some or not have some. That's entirely your prerogative." Rose nervously removed her tattered converse. She may have been against Kanaya but she also didn't want to incur any wrath the green blood might be hiding towards humans and her shoes were as dirty as she was. 

As Kanaya headed down the hallway, Rose followed in much the same manner a puppy would follow with it's tail between it's legs. As they came to the kitchen on the right, Rose immediately did a near run and hop onto the hardwood as though she was a child playing the rug is lava game. Kanaya rose an eyebrow at this strange behavior but said nothing more. As the troll rummaged through the kitchen and began to craft a meal, Rose stood on the hardwood and didn't move. She let herself take in the rest of the house, expansive living room with expensive furniture. Her curiosity was definitely piqued. Green was not low on the hemospectrum but it was not high either. It was a mid blood color, however Kanaya's hive suggested she had a rather high paying job at the least. Unless she was involved quadrant wise with a high blood? It didn't make sense. 

The raven haired troll cleared her throat and gave an awkward shrug. "I don't suppose you'd be willing to let me know your name?" Rose didn't answer right away. She eyed Kanaya carefully up and down, that fearful glare still in place. "...I don't suppose you wish to learn my name so that you can call the Human Center?" Kanaya sighed and shook her head as she continued about her work. "No. I told you, why would I call the Human Center when I went to so much effort to get you out of the situation you had found yourself in. Which also reminds me, how in the world did you manage to get yourself all the way up from the lower districts? From the look of you, you're indeed a stray. Stray's usually don't get away with being anywhere near the higher districts without being sighted." 

Sure, the girl had a purple hoodie and purple blooded trolls were very susceptible to sopor madness. In the slums, that would be a good deterrent from anyone but in the higher districts it almost drew attention. It was just as dirty as the girl; with tears and loose threads. A purple hoodie in that much of disarray in the higher districts would have everyone assuming you were a feral purple blood. Those types of trolls stayed in the slums. She'd cause panic, at the least. 

Rose wiggled her toes against the hardwood floor while she stared at her feet. "Perhaps I've simply been gifted with more intelligence than my species was granted or perhaps we're just all a lot more perceptive and knowledgeable than we're given credit for." She glanced back up at Kanaya. "...You can call it practiced hands." Kanaya was undeterred by the human's biting attitude. This seemed to satisfy as an answer for the troll. So this human had done this before. 

"You should be more careful. Wandering about in the higher districts is a death sentence." She warned as she dumped something into a frying pan. Rose let out a sad laugh. "Every time I breathe it is considered a death sentence." Her age was rare as it was. Most humans never lived to the age of sixteen as strays. Kanaya didn't respond to that. "How long have you been on the streets, then?" 

Rose didn't like the interrogation she felt she was receiving. Kanaya may have saved her life but she didn't deserve to know her entire story. Rose was not willing to give that out to just anyone. After all, Kanaya's entire species had practically enslaved Rose's entire species. As far as the blonde was concerned she'd never owe Kanaya anything no matter how many times the troll saved her life. She breathed a sigh through her nose and shook her head. "If I give you my name will that be enough that you will stop asking me questions that are absolutely none of our business?" Kanaya giggled lightly and turned to look at the blonde. "Perhaps." 

Rose licked her lips and swallowed hard before shoving her hands back into her hoodie and refusing to look at the troll. "...Rose." She said quietly as though she were releasing information that could destroy the entire planet to a very willing to do so troll. Kanaya stopped what she was doing and turned to the girl. "...It is very nice to meet you then, Rose. I am sorry the circumstances are not...equal." The blonde turned back to let her eyes meet Kanaya's. She blinked, confused. Was she apologizing for how humans were treated? Did she actually care? It was hard to tell. The taller troll fiddled with a few more things in the kitchen before she turned back to Rose. "That is going to take a little bit longer...Do you think I could perhaps direct you to the bathroom to at least get you somewhat cleaned up, Rose?" 

The blonde was already having a hard time ignoring the smells coming from the kitchen when she'd promised herself she wouldn't take anything more from the troll. Her stomach and underfed body was not allowing her to ignore the food as she intended and there was no mistaking that she needed a shower. Badly. It was a luxury she had gone without for far too long. She also had wounds. Wounds that would not heal due to the dirt spread across them. Rose was practically a walking invitation for infection. 

She couldn't help it, she deflated. She let out a lot of tension and relaxed her position more so than before. She let her eyes meet Kanaya's once more and the glare was gone only to be replaced with a curious glance. The fear, however, was still present. "...Alright." This seemed to relieve even Kanaya who also sighed and gestured for the girl to follow. 

As they neared the edge of the kitchen, Rose's face grew white. Her violet eyes watched Kanaya's feet go from the hardwood to the rug. She stiffened and stopped. Her toes were worrying the edge of the carpet but she dared not move. All the little bit of relaxing she'd shown moments before was gone as she stared at the floor. Kanaya, who realized Rose was not following, stopped and turned. "Is something wrong?" The blonde bit her lip and her hands went from open to closed as she stared at the rug. She glanced to Kanaya, back to the floor and then back to the troll again. "I..." She licked her lips nervously but made no move to follow. 

"Rose..." Kanaya spoke calmly and comforting. "It's okay. What's wrong?" The human gave Kanaya a look that was not the same demeanor as anything else she'd witnessed so far. Rose was truly frightened, if not pleading with her eyes. There was no fight and no fire and certainly no glare. There was something begging for forgiveness.   
The human looked back down to the hardwood floor and the rug.

"...I was not allowed to leave the tiled floor of the kitchen."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew. So I think I had said that we would be getting some insight to Rose's back story in this chapter? If I didn't say it here I certainly said it to someone, somewhere. However, I have to apologize because this chapter is lacking in as many details. Most things are vague and hinted at. 
> 
> Next chapter, I promise, you'll be getting more. Really, I do. In fact, I'll even pinky promise you.


	6. Don't Be.

After a lot of patience and reassurance from Kanaya, Rose was eventually coaxed onto the rug. However, she flinched and jumped away from every move the troll made after. After several occurrences of this Kanaya finally deemed it necessary to keep her hand gestures to a minimum.

Rose was a mess. Kanaya had never seen anyone look at beaten down as this human was and this was all from a distance. The troll feared that on further inspection she'd find a lot worse than just filth. The girl looked as though she hadn't been eating or sleeping. She had dark, purple circles under her tired eyes and though the hoodie (If you could even call that tattered scrap of fabric a garment at all at this point) probably gave her the illusion of added weight, Kanaya feared the worst lay underneath. 

Not that she could get anywhere near the girl without causing alarm, panic and what Kanaya recognized as the absolutely suffocating intent to fight for your life. Rose was not to be counted out simply because she was small and underfed. If her age didn't say she was at least resourceful then nothing did. Humans did not live to be as old as Rose was. She was small, but had to at least be the age of fifteen. That was not common. In some districts they would consider that ridiculous. Had her previous owner kept her that long or had she been surviving in the lower districts that long? 

The green blooded troll had a million questions, however, she had a feeling practically none of them were to be answered. She couldn't blame the girl for the hostility towards her however she didn’t understand her persistent refusal of aide. She couldn't leave during the day so why not at least accept the help being offered? It wasn't practical to Kanaya. She didn't understand Rose's fear. 

She managed to get the girl to the bathroom, however, and even was able to explain how everything worked since Rose seemed rather in a hurry for her to leave. The girl did take comfort in being back on a tiled floor; that much was noticed. Kanaya even was able to convince the girl to leave her horribly ruined clothes outside the door. The green blood didn't know what it was about this strange human but something compelled her to do everything she was capable of to help her. And if Kanaya was capable of anything it was repairing clothing. 

A good two hours later and there was not only food on the table but Rose's previously tattered and utterly filthy clothes were washed and nearly fully repaired. There was only so much Kanaya could do to fix up the clothes but she'd still managed to make them look presentable enough you'd probably purchase them at a store. Well, a secondhand store. Not that Kanaya was ever a fan of such a gaudy purple tone. Never the less, she left the clothes outside the door once again. She'd made the assumption the human would certainly not want her entering the bathroom. 

Ten minutes later it was as if someone entirely new emerged. Rose's hair was still damp but it was no longer the dirty, dull and near grey it was before. It was an absolute stunning shade of white. The white accented her violet eyes perfectly and Kanaya blinked and swallowed hard. The human was no longer covered in a layer of dirt and her pale skin was practically glowing. Add the tailored clothes to the mix and Rose might've been a complete stranger. Perhaps it was the state she had been in before but Kanaya found herself piecing together something with this new view point.  
Rose was absolutely gorgeous. 

"...Th-...Mn..." The blonde struggled with her words, avoiding Kanaya's eyes and fidgeting lightly with her jacket sleeve. She finally let herself glance up slowly to meet the troll's gaze. "...Thank you." She shrugged lightly and Kanaya's heart fluttered a bit faster as she stared in awe. She would never have thought to see the girl in this light before. She seemed much more relaxed to top off her transformation. "…What? I may appreciate your gestures and though some may say I needed your help, I certainly don't believe you should be staring. In some cultures the persistent refusal to avert your eyes is considered rude." 

Kanaya blinked and coughed, shaking her head and quickly returning to attending the food she'd prepared, a light tinge of green on her cheeks. "My apologies, then." Oh, yes. Rose was absolutely more comfortable. That comment was still biting but with just enough underlay to almost suggest teasing. If the human was making a sarcastic comment to that extent she was absolutely worrying less about being punished for it. Nor did it seem in any way as violent as she had spoken before. "It just would seem, Rose, that I was not prepared to meet the version of you that did not have seven fine inches of dirt caked onto your skin."

Wait. Damn it. Kanaya immediately regretted her rebuttal. Rose was not a friend she was having over for dinner nor should the troll consider it safe to be that comfortable with the girl. She hardly knew a thing about her other than the fact she'd been through more than one traumatic event. It wasn't as if it was Rose's fault she had been filthy. In fact, the girl probably would have given anything to not be filthy. She had, after all, thanked Kanaya for the shower and the clothes and now...Well, now she'd probably offended the girl or would end up sending her into another near panic attack...How could she be so- 

"As I was not prepared to be saved from the human center by the stuck up and rather high classed jade blood. Do you give to charities in your spare time and pick up litter with other volunteers in the park or is this just your good deed for the entire year?" 

Kanaya was no longer able to continue berating herself due to her surprise. She blinked and then was unable to hide the small smile that twitched at her lips. This girl was extremely interesting. There was no denying the troll's curiosity was indeed piqued. "Perhaps it is. Although, I should be set for two years considering the human I saved seems to be rather sarcastic. What do you think?" She set the table as she talked and Rose stood carefully on the kitchen hardwood. The blonde raised an eyebrow. "I think a year and six months. I wouldn't want to imply I'm not a handful, however, don't push it." 

The troll held back a chuckle. This was indeed a different girl compared to the one Kanaya had saved almost three hours ago. However, upon further inspection it was clear that the blonde was still in survival mode. Her guard had not dropped and the troll figured it probably never would. At a moments notice Rose's demeanor was ready to retreat back into her fight or flight stance. She may have been talking more casually but the fear was still present in her eyes and she looked ready to dart if given the opportunity. Well, no one said it would be that easy. A bath didn't fix everything. 

Kanaya nodded toward the table. "Either way, now that you're cleaned up I'm going to assume food is a necessity you've found hard to come by and lucky for you, I've made plenty." She said this casually and with a smile however Rose seemed to tense up. She glanced at the table with food and bit her lip. Anyone would be able to read the signs that the girl had no intention to eat the food but couldn't help herself from hunger. This was a losing battle and both Kanaya and Rose knew it. 

Though the troll was surprised again by the human, though not in the best of ways. Rose stepped toward the dinner table that was covered with food and instead of seating herself at it, she sat carefully on the floor. She was cross legged and her cheeks were red as she bit her lip. Kanaya blinked, unsure why in the world the human would prefer to sit on the hard wood and not at the table. Was this normal human behavior? Is this how they all preferred meals? It wasn't as if the dark haired troll was used to having a human to dinner... 

Then it clicked. 

"Rose...You do know you can sit at the table, correct?" The blonde twitched and glanced up from her position on the floor. She looked so small and her eyes gave a glint of fear. She searched Kanaya's face for any trace of lying or betrayal...maybe even to see if she was cruelly teasing. "...I've never sat the table. I've always …" she trailed off and gave another shrug. Her comfortable sarcasm was gone for now. "...You're sure that's alright?" 

The troll heaved a sad sigh. Not even allowed to sit at the table? Who had abused the girl so bad she thought her proper place was on the floor? Even during meals? Thinking about it for too long made Kanaya's blood boil. Rose was a small girl even if she hadn't been underfed. She must've came in at just 5'2...And although she was quiet, fearful and sometimes bitter she seemed terribly smart and was exceedingly pretty. Who in the world would have abused her so readily? So much that she was afraid to even leave the kitchen? The jade blood almost didn't want to know. She wasn't sure if she did, she could contain her rage. 

"You can sit wherever you're most comfortable, however, please know that it is entirely up to you. If you want to sit at the table you are more than welcome."  
It took a good thirty seconds of thought, however, on shaky legs Rose stood carefully and took a seat at the table. She looked as though someone was going to smite her for doing so. She sat in the chair as though a lightning bolt might make its way straight through the roof and turn her into nothing but ash. It was hard to watch. It was very hard to watch. 

It was harder still when she actually had food in front of her. At first she held back and took a small forkful of mashed potatoes. As soon as the food hit her lips though she couldn't hold back anymore. Rose attacked the plate with gusto. This was hard to watch because it was obvious Rose had not had a meal quite this size in a long time; if ever. She ate quickly but also seemed to be savoring every bite. Kanaya bit her lip to stop from telling the girl to slow down. 

The troll had a million questions but she tried to let the human eat before she began to rattle them off. It was clear that the girl didn't need to attempt to balance answering questions with shoveling sustenance in rapid succession. Once her plate was cleared, however, (Which didn't take long) Kanaya took the opportunity to speak. "You're welcome to have as much as you like. Although I do want you to eat, please try and slow down. The last thing you need is to get sick. I would imagine the amount of food your body is used to is rather low as well." 

Rose seemed to consider this for a moment before she piled more food onto her plate and made the effort to eat slower. At least, some kind of effort. Kanaya took her next steps cautiously. She didn't want to upset the girl or send her into any sort of panic mode. She didn't know how much information Rose was willing to relinquish, either. She had been very tight lipped and even getting her name was a small triumph. "Rose? I was wondering if perhaps I could ask you how long you've been out on the street?" The blonde stopped chewing for a moment before swallowing and not letting her eyes leave the half empty plate. "…" She was silent at first, her fork pushing stray vegetables around. She didn't look back up at Kanaya when she spoke and her voice was quiet. "...six months." 

Six months on the street. She'd survived this long? Where was she getting food? How was she hiding? Where was she hiding? Rose was small but not unnoticeable. How was she keeping warm? Was she in the lower districts or the lowest? Wait, was she squatting? Somewhere in the slums? Kanaya couldn't say she had never seen the slums, nor partially been in them. She had a very close friend in the lowest district. The slums, however, were terrifying. Rumor had that it was full of killers and drugs. Sopor mad trolls looking for dangerous thrills. Certainly not a place for...well...not a place for anyone but certainly not for a human. Not for Rose. 

"Six months is a long time." was all Kanaya could find to say without unloading more questions. It got Rose to snort at the least. "Is it? I had no idea. Running for my life certainly makes the time go fast, it feel's like just yesterday I broke out of my pervious dwellings to take shelter elsewhere, thank you so very much for informing me that six months is indeed a long span of time." 

Kanaya really needed to stop being shocked by the sarcasm that easily dripped from the human's mouth. "I suppose that if I am reading your lovely response correctly than it is not safe for me to ask you more?" Rose was eating at an actual normal pace now and she let her eyes wander up to meet her troll host. Kanaya didn't think she'd ever get over how stunningly violet they were. The blonde shrugged as though the entire affair disinterested her. "Depends on what you are asking, doesn't it?" 

"Alright. How old are you then, Rose? I would guess around fifteen?" Rose made a face as though Kanaya was very off in her assumption but her response said otherwise. "Sixteen." Sixteen was old for a human. Human's usually didn't reach that age. It was impressive more than anything. Rose had nothing but the odds stacked against her. The blonde leaned back in her chair, her eyes focused on Kanaya in an almost scrutinizing way as she crossed her arms. "My turn." She announced without much warning. "How old are you?" 

Kanaya smiled at this, amused by Rose's sudden change of pace. "You'll be pleased to know that in human years I am the tender age of seventeen." Rose scoffed again. "You don't have to do that. I'm perfectly capable of discerning your odd number of troll years. I'm not as impossibly stupid as your species seems to impose on me." The green blood shook her head. "No, that’s um...Not what I meant. I never intend you offense as you seem to think I do." It was normal for Rose to be so hostile. She'd been through quite a lot and Kanaya didn't even know half the story. However, it was still frustrating. Rose viewed Kanaya as a threat.

The girl was silent at Kanaya's response for a moment before she made a noticeable glance at the door. Her eyes flicked back to the troll and her fingers drummed carefully against her arm. She was nervous, still. "Have you ever owned a human?" The question came out of nowhere and it was as hostile as words could be spilt. The bitterness in the human's voice could have melted metal and so could her look. She was glaring at Kanaya with the hate of whatever the past sixteen years had dealt her. As one could imagine, that was a colossal amount of hate. 

The air had certainly gotten heavier. Kanaya sighed and crossed her hands in her lap. "No, Rose. I have never owned nor ever plan to own a human." She couldn’t say she didn't know trolls who did. She knew plenty of trolls who were in possession of humans. How they treated them behind closed doors was their business, however, in public, things seemed civil and normal. Though...from Rose's end of the spectrum normal didn't exist. Kanaya did her best to put herself in Rose's shoes but it was proving to be a daunting task. 

The human relaxed at the response slightly, her shoulder's becoming less tense. She let her eyes wander back down to her own crossed arms and she breathed a sigh through her nose. Kanaya cleared her throat as some of the tension drained from the air and she, too, glanced away before asking her next question. "May I ask who your previous owner was?" 

That was the wrong question. 

The human tensed immediately and she moved to grip the table with both hands. Her knuckles were white. She pushed the chair back and it scraped on the hardwood floor that echoed throughout the hive. She stood on shaking legs and stared at the hardwood. "No." Were the only words out of her mouth before she walked with her head down toward the direction of the bathroom. She paused when she reached the end of the hardwood and the beginning of the carpet once more. Kanaya knew Rose didn't want her to hear the noise that came out of her mouth, but hear she did.

It broke her heart all over again. Rose swore but in a way that sounded more like a strangled, quiet cry. The word was pure frustration being uttered as it was so carefully from the girl's mouth. She was on the verge of tears. Her hands were balled into fists as she had her silent debate with the floor before she managed to get her feet on the carpet and practically run into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. 

Kanaya sighed, frustrated and shook her head. She felt awful. That was taking it too far and she should have known that. Asking Rose simple questions like her age seemed tentative but that was crossing line's that Kanaya had no business even being near. She knew that. She simply had not been thinking. Her carelessness was not okay. This situation required kid gloves on and a careful perimeter marked out. Perhaps she could get those answers someday but it certainly would not be now, if ever. Kanaya was curious but she knew that her curiosity may have to go unsated if she was to not cause further harm to the human. 

A good forty-five minutes later and the kitchen was clean and the sun was setting. The dark haired girl was sitting in the living room staring at a book she wasn't reading. Kanaya took note of the sun setting about the same time Rose did. She heard the bathroom door open and the soft fast walk of bare feet from the carpet to the hardwood. The blonde didn't say anything but the troll knew she was in the kitchen doorway. She knew she was having her hard time of a transition from hardwood to rug. 

The troll glanced up. "...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause you pain earlier. It was careless and I never meant to hur-" Rose cut her off in a hurry and shook her head. "You didn't." Didn't? Didn't what? Didn't hurt her? Clearly that was not the case. "It's okay Rose. I really do apologize. I'll think before I ever ask you to recount something that caused you that much pain." Rose shifted uncomfortably on her heels. "You didn't cause me pain. I'm fine." She almost seemed affronted at the idea that something Kanaya said could cause her harm. It was an attitude of how dare the troll think her so fragile. 

That wasn't the case. Whatever it was, it was obviously a big deal however Rose seemed intent to forget the entire thing. She was fidgeting more than usual, however and her eyes kept darting to the door and back again. "...Its nearly dark. Can I leave now or would that be too much of me to ask?" Kanaya sighed again and stood from the couch to cross the space between them. "...Are you sure you'll be okay? You know you're more than welcome to...dare I suggest you stay?" Rose did look Kanaya in the eye when she responded. That was an improvement. "...Thank you." She said, obviously struggling with the words. "Really. Thank you. I...appreciate it. Everything. My shoes are still in the hallway, I take it?" 

Kanaya nodded and Rose practically ran to the door. Although, not without pausing to brave the carpet once more. The green blood followed her and stood by while Rose tied her ratty, worn down shoes onto her feet. Oh how she wished she could buy the girl proper shoes. Proper shoes, proper clothes...maybe a whole new lease on life. Whatever had happened to her she probably deserved it. 

The blonde finished tying her shoes and she moved quickly, her hand on the cold doorknob. She paused but did not remove her hand when she turned to look at Kanaya. "...I do not know why you chose to save me nor what your intentions in all this were. I've never met a troll who gave a single positive thought to me or my species. You didn't have to do any of this. I'm...grateful. I probably don't seem it. However, I can assure you I am." Kanaya bit her lip, a fang protruding delicately from her mouth. "As I can assure you that you don't have to thank me. I wanted to help you. I only wish I could do more." 

There was a moment of awkward silence that passed between them. A siren echoed in the distant city as the night life began to wake. Kanaya wanted her to stay. She'd be worried. She wanted to do more, to possibly fret over the girl as she would a friend. Rose would never let her and she knew it. Those violet eyes were no longer full of fright or fiery anger. There was something different there although the troll could not put her finger on it.

Kanaya reached out with tentative fingers and Rose immediately contracted, her grip on the door tightening as she fought the urge to duck or flee. The taller troll squeezed Rose's arm gently. She was just as the jade blood had feared; nothing but skin and bones. The human flinched but stayed her ground. "...If you ever need anything..." 

Rose could take no more, obviously. She opened the door and pulled herself away, stepping backwards over the threshold. "Yeah." 

Surprisingly the last shot of the strange human Kanaya received was a smile. A genuine smile. No smirk, no biting remark attached. Just a smile. It was a beautiful sight. As Kanaya stood in her doorway and let the sunset wash over her, it finally dawned on her what term to partner with the look Rose had held in her eyes just before she had left. 

It was hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long to get out to you guys. I usually am faster with updates however my Macbook charger decided to unceremoniously take a dive. I'm actually bumming my roommates laptop until I can get together the funds for a new one. Life has to come first though and I'm already behind on my rent, laughs disgustedly. 
> 
> Next chapter is flashback time for Rose. Writing Kanaya is an entirely new process to me. I'm not used to it and I can only hope it'll get better as we go. She's a foreign concept to me as far as writing goes. I can get into Rose's head easy because we're rather similar but Kanaya is treading new waters.
> 
> Buhhh, hope you guys like. Lemme know what you think!


	7. Do you feel like a man?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter contains NON CONSENSUAL SEX, EMOTIONAL and PHYSICAL ABUSE.  
> Seriously, if ANY of these things upsets you, makes you uncomfortable or triggers you in any way, I would suggest perhaps skipping this one.
> 
> I just wanted to make sure you guys knew. I make no secret that this story is dark.

Six Months Ago - Violet District 

Have you ever felt like your entire world is very small? That there isn't much to your world and therefore there really isn't much to you? You go from day to day not really seeing much of a difference. You aren't living, you're just existing. Existing in the same stale smell in the air and the same four walls you've always known. You want more but your thought processes are stuck inside the same day to day regimen that you are. You don't know you want more. After all, you can't want for something you've never had right?

It was six months ago when Rose left. Although, I shouldn't say left because it wasn't as though she had the privilege of coming and going like any normal person. It wasn't as though she simply walked right out the door. Made a decision that it was time to move on. No, the term escape fits much better.

Six months seems like an exceedingly long amount of time when you say it out loud, but to Rose it feels like yesterday. After living on the street she wondered if it would always feel that way. As though no matter how far you ran or how much distance you put between yourself and your past, it was still there. Looming behind you like some sort of terrifying monster, snapping at your heel's every time you thought you'd made some stride. Five years of abuse will do that to a person.

The nightmare's didn't help. They were a constant and very real reminder. Though, everything was a reminder in Alternia. She wouldn't be in the situation she was in if not for the horrible laws put into place. If not for the trolls. Her constant hunger, bruises and fear reminded her with just as much stead as her nightmares. 

Yet, she'd still take these living conditions over her previous ones. 

Six or so months ago Rose was living on the floor of a rather lavish two bedroom hive in the Violet district. The yellow tiled kitchen floor was her only domain. She wasn't allowed in the hallway or the living room or any area of the house that was not the kitchen tile floor. She didn’t have much, however her owner did allow her to read. Something she had learned before she came to him. Various books were scattered around the makeshift blanket and throw pillow she slept on. These were located in the far corner of the kitchen. 

The blonde had learned very quickly not to tempt fate and allow her person to come in any contact with the rug. The first few days she had been with her new owner he would kick, punch and forcibly drag her back into the kitchen by her hair. She was spoken to like she had the intelligence of a dog. A very young dog that was a nuisance and very disliked.

It wasn't worth the black eye's and hair dragging to leave the kitchen. Rose was soon very accustomed to staying put. He had her so terrified that after awhile she stopped venturing into the other rooms even when he was not home. He even managed to stop her bouts of sarcasm or smart remarks. Of course, this was the point. 

She just existed, day to day. Sure, he fed her. He did what was required to keep her alive and even clean, though bath time was a rather nightmarish affair. If he spoke to the blonde, he spoke as though she couldn't understand him. If she spoke to him he acted as though he couldn't understand her. For someone as intelligent as Rose, this was a heavy burden on her mental state. No matter how much she communicated something clearly, he acted as though she just spouted gibberish at him. So much of this went on that Rose even went through a period of questioning her sanity and worrying that she really was speaking drivel. 

He was not alone very often. In fact, he seemed to have company almost all the time. He'd bring home women and sometimes even men. When he was done with one and they left it was never long before another arrived. None of these visitors gave much notice to the human sitting on the kitchen floor trying to lose herself in books. Desperately wishing there was a way to block out the moaning, heavy breathing and sometimes light screams that came from the living room and mostly the bedroom. 

It was very important he had company. Because when he did not, Rose was suddenly noticed. This was never necessarily a good thing. Without someone to fill his desires, he turned to the blonde. Rose was small and defending herself was an impossible plight against him. Not that it mattered. She was human garbage. Trolls could do whatever they wanted to a human they owned. It wasn't as though defending herself would have taken her to any better of a place. 

He took out anger in the form of punches and hair pulls. He tugged and tripped her and created a viral spread of bruises upon her skin. He grabbed her and threw her so hard once that she broke her first bone; in her leg. He'd ignored her for several hours after until someone had to be called to tend to it. Yet, she preferred him angry. When he did not have company and was not angry with her, it was much worse. 

Have you ever felt the feeling of falling? From a very considerable height with no idea what the outcome of landing with bring? Have you ever fallen, thinking you're going to die? Knowing that this is the end? Or perhaps in drowning. The feeling of your lungs being suffocating quickly and your desperate attempt for air. The human instinct to live is strong but you're gulping water hoping against hope that somehow that water will turn into precious life sustaining oxygen. Everyone knows you don't attempt to breathe under water, much less take gasping breaths. You know it, too, but God, you would do anything to breathe again and you can't hold your lungs in check any longer. 

Then things go dark and that thought finally hits you. This is it. This is the end. 

Imagine one of those things happening and the only thing you can do is try and ignore it. Pretend that it isn't occurring. Can you imagine trying to shut one of those things out? To pray it goes swiftly and you will be okay when its done? And that it will be done? Drag out every concrete moment of drowning to the slowest pace you can and then try to ignore what's happening around you. That's what it was like. 

When he grabbed her and kissed her for the first time right down to the way his hands trailed over her ribs and pulled her skirt down around her knees. The way he pushed intentionally on the tracker embedded under her skin on her left hip so she'd cry out in pain. There wasn't much he had to say. It might have been the only time he didn't talk down to her. Maybe he felt that he at least owed her that much. She doubted it thought. Rose often wondered if he slept at night. She hoped he had nightmares too. 

It was easy to shove the petite human against the wall and it was easy to slide his fingers up her thigh. She didn't have much fight in her back then. He'd made sure to put that down early. Besides, if she did fight, she'd only delay him. Grey fingers moved against pale skin and no matter how much she cried out or begged him to stop, there was no solace. He was unforgiving on his path to get what he wanted. Unforgiving, with the way he ripped her shirt off and made her shiver in disgust and beg. The blonde hated begging and had she been in the right state of mind it was never a method she would employ. Rose begged like she was haggling for her life. She didn't know someone could cry so much or that tears were meant to be hot. She stopped screaming after the fourth or fifth time. He caused the ultimate pain to her and no begging or pleading would make him stop. He took her several times on the kitchen floor and several times on the counter. 

Rose found ways to make him angry. If he was angry he wasn't in the mood. It cost Rose more bruises but they were less painful than the alternative. She started leaving the kitchen more or knocking breakables off the counter. Once she managed to splatter an entire watermelon onto the kitchen floor. He'd chased her into the corner and left red finger marks on her neck for that one. It was worth it. 

She used the subtle approach too. Although he would pretend he had no clue what was coming out of her mouth to further hurt her emotionally, Rose was still a smart girl. Sometimes a quip or a snarky remark hit him in just the right way, at just the right angle. She found things he could not ignore. Although she wanted him angered, this was also a way for Rose to remind herself she was sane. It helped her mental state to know he was just toying with her and could, in fact, understand her.

If he was angry, to put it blatantly, he would not fuck her.

It was better when he had company. Rose wished he had company every second. Like all things, even the way he forced himself on her, she became accustomed. It became the game of shutting things out. Noises, sounds and feelings. Rose did her best to recede into her head during these moments. Of course, that wasn't as effective as she'd wished. It's hard to ignore what feel's like your death fall. Its hard to ignore the slow process of drowning.

Life did not exist. There was no living to be found in it. Rose had nothing to look forward to and no purpose. She just did her very best to get through each day.  
He had a younger brother around her age. This troll did not visit often but when he did, Rose could say those days weren't as bad. He put on a front for his younger sibling although he still ignored his human. This boy, however, did not pretend that Rose was stupid nor did he act as though he could not understand her. They even carried on conversations. 

This boy was very different from his older brother. He had thick framed glasses and light freckles around his gills and he loved magic. A striking difference from his greasy haired, leather jacket wearing brother. 

Rose grew fond of the younger's love for magic after many discussions in the kitchen on the subject. He was not particularly kind to Rose, however he was a welcome change when he did stop by. He spoke to her. He even discussed books with her. He seemed to recognize that she was intelligent even if he would never admit it. Once, he stopped by when her owner was not home. He asked Rose about a girl he claimed meant everything to him. Although she didn't have much advice it was the most positive conversation she'd had with any troll. 

He was biting and short sometimes. He acted as though Rose's presence was an irritant and it was obvious she made him uncomfortable. As I said before, he was not particularly kind to her with words, but it was better than her usual company. He was easy to rattle and his sarcastic remarks could rival Rose's own. It was nice change of pace. 

The last night was not the worst, by far. The opportunity just happened to present itself. The night before had been rather unbearable, but it was nothing uncommon. Rose was sporting two black eye's this time and she was quite sure he had managed to at least bruise one of her ribs. It hurt to walk without clutching her side. She hadn't slept in nearly forty eight hours though not for lack of trying. Night terrors and night mares were common even before the slums. 

He had company that night. A very pretty woman from a lower district who smoked a lot with ram like horns. Rose had only a glimpse of her before they disappeared into the bedroom for several hours. She was loud. They were all loud, though. When the noises died down, he came out of the bedroom. He wasn't wearing anything and when he walked into the kitchen, he aimed a well placed kick at a sitting Rose who took it as though it was a personal greeting. 

"Why're you always in the fucking way?" God, she hated the way he tripped over his w's. A speech impediment he'd had since the day he purchased Rose. He was still terribly threatening, regardless and maybe she also hated that someone who stuttered made her that terrified. 

Rose didn't respond to him. What was the point? He opened the fridge and took a swig of something before eyeing her up again. He nodded toward the bedroom with a nasty smirk. "You jealous, baby doll?" Rose did not look at him when she responded. She was broken, but she knew how to deliver a well placed sentence. It did not come out snarky or biting but it still managed to get through. "Of what? Your impeccable taste in ash coated lower district miscreants or of her interest in you, as though I had any?" 

He looked at Rose with a blank face and she braced for impact. "What?" He said, as though he genuinely had not heard her. "Fuckin' maybe you should speak my language, for once. How is anyone supposed to understand that? Try again." Rose took a deep breath through her nose and became interested in the tile floor. That is, for a split second before he hauled her up from the floor by her hair and spoke at her through gritted teeth. "I said, try again." She bit her lip but she knew what he wanted. He'd ignore her and degrade her until she broke.

"You heard me." was her reply but it wasn't in a way you would say such a thing. It was hollow and broken and a matter of fact more than anything. It didn't matter what she said, his response would be the same. He threw her violently back onto the hard floor and shook his head before running a hand through his slick backed hair. "Just can never understand a damn word that comes out of your mouth, sugar." He sneered and went to attend to the woman who was waiting for him in the bedroom.

Several more loud hours passed but this time, the woman emerged alone. This wasn't strange to Rose. Most of his 'guests' tended to leave afterwards however, it was clear she just wanted to smoke. She stood outside for seven minutes. Rose counted. It wasn't like she had anything else to do. 

When the woman entered the house once more, reeking of the ashy cigarette, she glanced at Rose. She smirked and the blonde eyed her with wary cynicism. Better you than me. she thought as she glanced away and back to her books. Then the woman was back down the hall. When the door to the bedroom closed again, that's when Rose noticed it. The troll had left the front door open. 

The thought of leaving had crossed Rose's mind more than she could count. She had planned every scenario and plotted every move in her head. Actually putting these things into effect was a daunting task. They were just thoughts to pass the agonizingly slow time. Rose knew her fate. She avoided thinking of the future as much as possible and had established that the reality was she had no future. It didn't exist. 

Now the escape she had always deemed impossible was staring her in the face. She couldn’t ignore it. It wasn't as though he had ever kept the door locked or out of Rose's reach. She could always have walked out the door. Something was different that day. Whether it was the lack of sleep or the fact she didn't actually have to do anything but walk out, Rose Lalonde made a decision. A split decision, really. It was as if something had clicked into place in her brain. That was it. There was no other options anymore. Though if caught, she knew she'd regret it in the form of some physical pain that would last at least the next month. If she was lucky. 

It didn't take her long to find a knife in the kitchen. It did take her long to stand on the carpet. She was running out of time and it took her a near ten minute's to finally be able to let her feet touch the soft white flooring. When she finally did she stood frozen and staring at the hallway in absolute terror for another two minutes. When she finally mustered up the courage to move, she grabbed a hoodie hanging by the door and hesitated yet again. 

This was the moment that would change everything. If caught, she'd be killed. She'd be killed or worse. The small blonde knew she could close the door, turn around and go back to the kitchen. He would never know and things would go on. That...or she could give herself a fighting chance. The kind of chance she deserved instead of resigning herself to the abuse filled life she'd experienced for nearly five years. 

There was the sound of what could easily have been the bedroom door opening or another door closing, however whatever it was gave Rose the kick she needed. She ran. The girl ran so hard and so fast that by the time she started paying attention to wear she was going, she was gasping for air. Her lungs ached and she was dizzy. Dizzy from running and the knowledge of what she'd just done. 

Logically, she knew the slum's were the safest place. She also knew she'd never get there with her tracker still under her skin. In a dark alley near his hive she paused for nothing more than a few moments before she let that knife sink into the skin around her hip. Maybe it was all that practice she'd had shutting things out that made it easier. It hurt like fucking hell. She bit her lip to keep from screaming. She bit it so hard she drew more blood than what was already staining the concrete. It ran down her leg from her hip and pooled in liquid burgundy around her feet. 

Tracker's are not small nor are they lying just under your skin. They're a tad smaller than a ping pong ball with a blinking light on the top and a connecter underneath. The connector is so that they can be attached to a computer and the human's ID can come up. It took Rose over ten agonizing minutes to get it out. When she did it hit the ground with a ping and the green light on it turned yellow. She didn't stick around to find out what that meant.

He knew what he was doing putting it in her hip, though. Rose was limping and losing blood very fast. She took refuge in dark alley's among trash can's and staunched the bleeding with both her shirt and hoodie. It wasn't much but it would help her not die from lack of blood. Either way, she'd done it. 

When this did hit her, at three in the morning, leaning against a dumpster in a back alley in the violet district, she will never admit she cried. Rose isn't the type to admit her utter hysterics. No matter what happened to her, she would never get any relief from her past. She would never be able to change it or build it anew. The blonde knew there was absolutely no erasing what she'd gone through. Not the sheer terror nor the unbearable physical pain. It would haunt her the rest of her life. 

That, and the concept of freedom was not something that crossed her mind either. The blonde was terrified. Out of the frying pan and into the fryer. She knew nowhere she went would be safe. The slums were the place for strays, sobor lunatics, druggies and criminals. She knew that was where she needed to go but safety didn't exist. Freedom was not something tangible and the small girl was faced with enough reality to know it. There was no time for relief or any sort of celebratory calm. There was no time for anything but planning and moving.

Rose knew she was a target the minute she had stepped out of his hive. She spent the next week hardly eating and hardly sleeping. She took refuge in dumpsters, underneath porches and sometimes even underneath trucks. She would spend long agonizing days in the same position, hardly breathing for fear of being caught. This was the only reason Rose survived from such a long haul through the districts. 

She made it to the slums because she was patient. Rose was not in a hurry. Why should she be? What waited for her down there was no prettier. She took her time and used her analytical skills. She planned every move she made very carefully and eventually she did get to the lowest district. The blonde had been through absolute hell all her life. From the day of her birth to the day she escaped. Even living in the slums, that knife had always looked tempting. That was when she made the decision to get rid of it. It was safer for it to be out of her hands. She was hungry. She was cold and she was scared. 

Nothing terrified her more than her past though. She would fight off every sober troll and every Human Center worker. She'd battle through the pain and the hunger and the cold nights. 

No, what scared her most was that if Cronus Ampora ever found her she'd be begging for death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. So this chapter was extremely difficult for me to write. In more ways than one and far more ways than I will ever admit to the general expanse of the internet.
> 
> I wasn't sure how much I wanted to get into things and I tore it apart and rewrote it a million times. This is the end result. It wasn't everything. I wanted this chapter to be very inbetween the lines. A summary, if you will, of Rose's hellish past. There is more. A lot more. Things I didn't add here will, of course, come up later. After all, Rose did not grow up with Cronus. 
> 
> Get pumped about the next chapter though because it's going to be gr8 >::::]
> 
> Buh, I'm still not happy with this, honestly. Sticks out tongue in childish annoyance.


	8. Heart of the Unexplained

Running until your lungs felt like they were on fire eventually somehow became a state of being. It was just synonymous with running. If you were going to take off like that, then you had a damn good reason to be doing so. It was all mental. You didn't think, you just ran. Sure, it hurt like hell and you were gulping air as you did so, but you didn't acknowledge that. You were too busy worrying about how the large breath of air you just took might be your last  
.  
It wasn't like Rose wasn't accustomed to the sound of screaming. The slums were full of it. Sometimes it was so bad that you weren't really sure if you were screaming or someone else was. A few days ago, it had been just that kind of confusion. Gunshots and shouts, high pitched echoes and an unholy amount of hard packed flesh hitting the ground or the brick walls echoed in every direction. There was shouting and confusion and the crowd hardly was thinning. 

It started as a normal day as far as normal went. The deeper you went into the slums the more dangerous it was. There were very sick trolls, trolls on sopor slime, trolls going through withdrawal of sopor slime. Sopor being Alternia's main drug of choice. There were feral trolls and homeless trolls and trolls with mental disabilities. There were also humans. Most Human Center Authority worker's would avoid going too deep into the slum's for fear of the higher blooded unstable trolls. This was a legitimate fear, all things considered. 

This created a somewhat safe area for humans. Sure, they had to keep their guard up against crazy, withdrawal induced mad trolls but they had no chance of running into the Human Center. The unstable population was easy to avoid and conflict with them was equally easy to get out of. These trolls kept to themselves. They were far too wrapped up in their own drug induced haze or lack thereof.

The Human Center Pickup, however, assumed the worst and did their best to not cross too far over the borders of safe and sane. Keeping a distance from trolls that they considered dangerous was always a top priority. Human's guards were let down. They freely traded goods and allowed themselves normal conversations on the street where the Human Center was concerned. Information was passed and goods traded. There was a sense of calm you didn't find in other area's of the districts. There was even talk that the rebellion existed here if you knew where to look. Things were as relatively calm as you could get in this kind of environment. 

That is, until today.

Whether someone had tipped someone off in a big way, a very important human had escaped or an order was given...Something did not stop the Human Center from going very far past their usual point. It was a raid. At least, that's what they were prepared for. They were decked out in full riot gear, shouting orders to each other and firing at the first human, and even low life troll, to get out of line. 

People were scattering everywhere. Trolls and humans alike. Sopor is not illegal however it is frowned upon and the withdrawal suffering and high creatures wanted nothing to do with what were essentially police. There was screaming and panicked shouts and eventually, gun fire. Blood splattered the cracked concrete and brick walls as the body count rose. People ran in every direction with wild and pleading eyes. It was a horrid sight.

Some begged for their lives. Humans got on their knees and surrendered just like the authorities wanted. However, they were simply branded a shock collar and loaded into vehicles. Even they knew their fate. Their death was simply postponed. 

Some human's fought but it was made clear that today, no games would be played. They were killed instantly. Shot down or beaten back. This was not normal. Some troll owners like having their escaped pets returned them. It's rare but it does happen. Protocol seemed to involve checking each stray's tracker or tag's and determining who they belong to, if anyone. Then that troll is notified and a decision made. 

Today, it didn't seem to matter who your owner was. They were even firing at human's who ran. It was absolute chaos and Rose was caught in the middle of it. 

Not that she'd been doing well before then, but she had not eaten properly in two days and running was not as easy as it could have been. She didn't fight. She knew that was a quick way to get killed. The blonde ran. It didn't stop her from running into a tall boy and getting knocked to the ground. He pushed his glasses up in a hurry and raced past her without so much of a nod. She didn't blame him in the least.

After staggering to a standing position, Rose did her best to keep going. She was so hungry that she could feel herself slowing down. The gunshots and screams that echoed through her head kept her going. She had to get out. It was move or be killed. There was no option.

So she moved. That is, until something or someone struck her so hard in the head, she fell to her knees. Blood trickled soft and warm down the left side of her and dripped casually off her chin. She shuddered as her vision went blurry. The combined effort of her hunger and the blunt trauma to her head was nearly too much. But Rose was a fighter. She had to be. The will to live is quite insistent. 

Because really why should she keep fighting so hard? She was always starving and even more so constantly covered in dirt. She was always in some kind of pain and if not physically then surely emotional. She spent her day's scrounging for food and trying to make every breath she took last. What was the point? Wouldn't it be easier to just lay down on the ground right now and let some Human Center troll load her onto a van to be killed at a later date? Or maybe even fight back until she was shot? 

No, something kept her going. Among the shouting and screams, gunfire and smell of blood. Rose was sure it was subconscious; this radical idea that she had to live. The mind itself absolutely rejecting even the idea of death. After all, Rose didn't want to die, she just wanted to make the pain and suffering stop. However, her mind and body wouldn't allow it. 

So with the blood seeping from the side of her forehead and staining her bleach blonde hair a course brown, she staggered up from the ground and kept going through the chaos. Whether she wanted to or not. Her mind had only the capacity of a single thought: Move. The screams, the bodies shoving past her, the gunshots ringing in her ears... 

This was a day ago. 

Rose was no better off. At least not yet. She was standing in a place she had only ever stood once. She never thought in a million lifetime's that she'd be standing in said place again. It was as foreign as it was familiar. How she had managed to remember the exact location when she was in such a state was anyone's guess. Yet, here she was.

She hadn't thought of the jade blood for any prolonged amount of time in the last two months. If her mind wandered into that area she sprang out of it like a cat doused with water. She didn’t want to remember. She didn't want to think about the beautiful, green eyed savior that had fed her and taken care of her and been kind to her. She didn't want to think about a troll treating her like a person. Treating her as if she mattered. It was too confusing and too painful and too ridiculous of a notion to process. It just made Rose feel like she wanted some kind of life she'd swore to never enter into again. 

So, she didn't think about Kanaya. Until now. 

Until she was standing on the troll's doorstep with the usual amount of dirt and the less than usual amount of blood caked onto her person. Bloody and broken and in dire need of food, Rose had trekked through the districts to get here. Security almost seemed doubled and it had taken her hours but she'd made it. 

The blonde never liked to think of herself as backed against a corner. She didn't like to ask for help. Yet, here she was. Obviously things were bad. Of course she was staring at the door as though it might bite her or perhaps that it already had. She was glaring. This wasn't fair. She didn't much warm to the idea of asking anyone for help let alone a troll. Let alone this troll. Rose found Kanaya to be extremely interesting and altogether a bit comforting in an odd way and to say the least, it pissed her off. Well, perhaps that is a bit of an exaggeration. It irritated her. It vastly irritated her.

It took her a full five minute's before she worked up the courage and necessary amount of convincing to finally raise her hand and knock. Who even knew if Kanaya was home? Or that she even was willing to help Rose again? She might have told the girl to just leave or laugh at her for thinking this was some sort of safe haven. Hell, what if she refused to help unless Rose agreed to stay? Somehow though, none of that seemed very much like the jade blood.

Time slowed for Rose as she heard the agonizing click of a lock being undone and watched the turn of the silver doorknob and the hinges creaking effortlessly. The blonde fought the natural instinct to run. To race as far away from what was causing her anxieties as she possibly could. Rose held her ground. 

Just like that, there she was. Kanaya Maryam in all her beautiful, kind eyed glory. Hell, she was even more so than Rose had remembered properly, or allowed herself to at the least. Although the blonde expected the surprise that flitted across the troll's features, she did not expect the relief. It washed over her gorgeous features the instant she realized who was standing on her doorstep.

"Rose." It wasn’t a question. It was a confirmation. Before the blonde could form any type of plea for help or even a proper greeting, Kanaya reached out, much like she had the night Rose had left. Her hand stopped halfway to Rose's arm in an abrupt pause, hanging in midair with something like caution. The blonde's violet eyes flickered from the troll's stance to her eyes. So she wanted to comfort but knew that touching didn't make Rose feel better. Not only had she paid attention, she'd remembered.

The blonde fidgeted and looked away. "I...apologize. I know this isn't...I didn't exactly know where else to go..." After all, the slums were crawling with Human Center trolls. If one was to survive and had no ties to any group of humans this was Rose's only option. She had weighed them for a split second. It wasn’t as though she spent her time creating connection or friends. The only friend she'd ever had was killed and she partially blamed herself for it. 

Kanaya didn't ask Rose any questions. She stood aside from the door and nodded. "Please come inside." The human didn't understand how the troll could simply invite her in with no explanation. "It's just that I...They're actively seeking out humans in places I thought were safe and-" Kanaya cut her off with a shake of her head and a very tired smile. "It doesn’t matter, Rose. Please come inside."

It was that easy. Kanaya didn't ask for an explanation or except Rose to give her something in return. It had been two months and it was as if the jade blood was welcoming home an old friend. Rose was sure she would never get used to that kind of treatment from a troll. Never.  
It wasn't a struggle to cross the threshold this time and if she was honest, that itself scared the blonde a little. Shouldn't she be terrified to cross over into a troll hive? Where she could be imprisoned and abused so readily? No. Not this time. Something about crossing into the hive had her relieved more than anything. After what she'd just been through she supposed this might be a normal reaction. Anything was better than where she'd just come from. 

Kanaya closed the door behind her and she moved toward Rose carefully. "You're hurt. Your forehead...On the left side. Anywhere else? What happened?" She was practically panicked. If Rose expected anything it wasn't the troll to fret over her. Kanaya didn't owe her anything. Why should she care so much about her? It hardly made any sense. The blonde shook her head. "I..." 

If you've ever felt like you're okay and suddenly everything comes racing at you in one fell swoop, then you know what Rose was feeling. She had been distracted with thoughts of survival and planning ahead. Thoughts of moving forward and not looking back and making sure she didn't end up dead on the streets. Now that she had nothing to distract her, no ultimate sense of urgency or radical movement everything was catching up to her. She opened her mouth to give a perfectly rational response and found herself shaking. 

"There was an abundance of blood and so much shouting, so much terrible shouting not that it drowned out the screams. Oh, the screaming. I think they ...I think they killed children. Kanaya, I think they killed children!" Her chest felt tight and the blood on her cheek wasn't quite dry yet. Why wasn't it dry yet? Did someone shoot her? Were they still after her? What if they tracked her here? No, no, she ripped her tracker out ages ago. Wait, what if he was involved? What if he tracked her here? What if there was another knock on the door? What if they caught up with her? "Collars. They were putting collars on the humans. They were..." 

Rose's hand grasped at her throat and she shuddered at the idea that something was around her neck at all. She felt like the wall's were starting to move, to close in. Then she felt cold fingers against her arm and she jerked back, slamming into the wall and sinking down to the floor. Her breath was heavy but she focused on the only thing she could hear. 

"Shhh. Rose, its okay. Its all going to be okay. You're here now. You're safe. No one is going to do anything to hurt you. I promise."

Kanaya's voice wasn't panicked. She was calm and comforting and sounded very in control of the situation whereas Rose was not. The blonde swallowed and hugged her knees. She took careful breath's of air. Kanaya still did not touch her. She was grateful for that.

After a few moments of silence where the troll leaned down to get on her level but still made no move to initiate contact, the blonde glanced back up. She now took note that Kanaya was in nothing other than a night dress. It hadn't registered with her before. It was late, yes but something was off to Rose. Then again, she had to remind herself everything was off at the moment and shook her head, trying to rub away the dried blood on her cheek desperately. 

"Will you allow me to get you cleaned up? Rose...I...It's been awhile. Please, please stay the night. You're in no position to go anywhere. Just one night." Rose gave a panicked laugh that seemed to escape from her person on accident. As if she had anywhere else to go. As if there was anything left at this point. What was she to do? Go back to the slums and immediately be euthanized? She had nothing left and she had not harbored much to start with. All she could do was nod. 

Kanaya still took care to not touch her and she let Rose take her time to stumble up on shaky legs. There was that damned rug again. From the foyer's ceramic tile to the carpet lined hallway. In Rose's mind it was is if she asking for a punch in the stomach or a kick to the hip. It was synonymous with pain. Leave the tiled floor and expect punishment. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath and braced herself. 

And Kanaya, oh god, Kanaya was so patient. Rose would have noticed this the last time she was here had she not had her guard turned all the way up. Had she not done her absolute best to block out the troll who had saved her life. She was patient and she let the human take her time and gave her the space she needed to cross from tile to carpet. To overcome her trained nightmares. God knew she didn't need anymore that evening. 

Too bad life has a way of throwing everything at you at once. Too bad when it rains, it pours.

"Fussy fangs, who was at the door? I mean can you take any longer?" Rose had just managed to her feet on the carpet and she flinched slightly at the unfamiliar and demanding voice that echoed from down the hallway. She felt Kanaya's posture stiffen and her fist's clench. That made Rose feel no better. 

The jade blood cleared her throat and sighed. "I-It's nothing, Vriska. I'll be there in a minute." Apparently, this was not enough for whoever this 'Vriska' may have been. She was clearly making her way down the hallway as her voice got closer. "Is it Vantas? That little shit comes to you with more problem's every week. If he doesn't learn to sort himself out I'm going to-" 

Turning the corner in the hallway another troll stopped abruptly. She was obviously taking in the scene in front of her. The scene consisting of a human she had never seen before, covered in dirt and blood and other unmentionables and then Kanaya, looking frazzled if not irritated. The troll was tall, but still shorter than Kanaya herself. She had long black hair and fierce eyes. Well, a fierce eye. She was wearing glasses, however one of the side's was darkened so only one of her eyes was visible. One of her horns matching Kanaya's, the other was hook shaped.

She was wearing blue lipstick, a flannel and no pants and after processing the situation, her surprised demeanor shifted. It shifted to what could only be described as irritation. 

"What...Is that?" She asked in her patronizing voice as though Rose was some sort of vomit that a cat had left behind on the carpet after you'd already taken it to the vet. Not that the human could blame her. She was covered in filth, sure and undoubtedly looked worse for wear. However, Rose was in no state to deal with a troll she didn't know. Kanaya seemed to understand this. "She's..." The jade blood began to answer and then seemed to rethink her response. She paused for a few seconds before sighing and running a hand through her hair, carefully avoiding her horns. "Vriska, she's hurt. She's hurt and she needs tending to. For now, that's that." Silence came in response.

Rose's guard was already up when the blue blood came at her. That's why she dodged the initial strike and stumbled around the foreign troll and backwards into the kitchen. She wouldn’t say she had expected it but Rose was used to dealing with the unexpected. "Vriska!!!" Kanaya shouted but the blue blood had already managed to grab the front of Rose's shirt. She didn't do anything more than that, however.

"Are you going to keep it?" She asked, her eye never leaving the blonde's violet. Surprisingly for the human's state, Rose did not look fearful. She looked angry. Something about this troll made her blood boil. Perhaps she was at a breaking point for the amount of bullshit one can deal with in a single day. The blonde didn't allow Kanaya to respond. Rose kicked the blue blood so hard in the shin, she yelped and threw Rose to the ground. "You fucking little- " Before Vriska could lunge, Kanaya intervened. She stood between Rose and the other troll and lightly shoved the blue blood back. 

"Out." Vriska looked confused.  
"Fussyfangs what the fu-"  
"Get out. Now."  
"I'm not wearing any pants."  
"Then acquire some and get out."

Vriska looked completely confused more than the anger that was rolling off of her. She didn't respond further, however. She disappeared into one of the back rooms and reappeared a second later, buttoning jeans hastily and looking at Kanaya, hoping to see a changed mind. Kanaya glared and shook her head, leveling a sigh out of her nose. Vriska paused in the kitchen doorway. "...Come on, don't I even get an explanation?" The jade blood relaxed a bit and her shoulder's lost tension but she only managed a small sigh. "Not today, I'm afraid."

Vriska gave one last scathing look to the human on the floor before she marched down the hallway and slammed the front door behind her. A moment of silence passed before it opened again and there was the sound of light scrambling in the foyer and then the door slammed again. Kanaya rolled her eyes. "Forgot her shoes."

When the jade blood had relaxed enough she turned back to Rose. "Rose, I throuroughly apologize for that. I never thought...It's not her fault. She...Human's are not generally in her vicinity. She's not ...well not always like that. Either way though, are you unharmed?" Rose may have had blood pounding in her ears but she was okay. She was stronger than that. She pulled herself up from her position on the ground.

The night dress made sense now. It was pinned together with Vriska's ensemble or lack thereof. This type of thing didn't concern Rose and shouldn't. Why should Kanaya's personal life have anything to do with her? However, the human felt a pang of something in her lower chest at the thought. She did was she was used to and put it out of her mind. 

"I'm alright. Well, as far as she is concerned...I'm the one who should apologize. I didn't mean to come here in the dead of night and interrupt your life nor drag you into mine..." The jade blood shook her head. "You owe me nothing of the sort. I told you if you ever needed anything to come here. You needed help and you did the right thing. In fact...Rose...I am more than relieved. I would be lying if I said I did not worry for you these past months."

Worry for her? While Rose had put Kanaya out her mind the troll had been worrying about her? To what extent? The human shook her head. "You were...worried for me." The blonde found the corners of her mouth twitching up lightly into a small smile. "Kanaya...You never cease to surprise me."  
The trolls raised an eyebrow and then also shook her head, her smile imminent. "Come. Let's get you cleaned up. You're getting mud on my floor, after all."   
"Clearly, my only intention..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im am hella sorry that I haven't been around lately. I was hit with a major wave of bullshit recently. My phone charger turtlenecked and then about two days later my laptop charger did the same thing. I have a macbook so those of you who also have them know that the charger is $80. 
> 
> I got carpal tunnel in both wrists and had to quit my job at the time because of the injuries. Then I got a new job but two weeks later so I was horribly behind on rent. So I had to deal with that giant bombshell in my life. Now I might have some kind of neuropathy in my left hand. Life is just full of so much fun, isn't it? I'm bogged down with hospital bills and rent bills and electric bills and I just needed to focus on the garbage...
> 
> However, I am back! Mostly. I'm using my roommates laptop and we can all hopefully get back to this story.
> 
> Virska'll be back real soon. So don't get sad she wasn't as present as you wanted. There is so much fucking fluff in the next chapter though like look out. I was going to make it one really big chapter but I think breaking it up will be a better read.
> 
> Also: Im going to do my damndest to stick to a schedule with this fic on updates. So, every other Thursday of the month, I'll update. Today was just a dear GOD I owe these people a fucking chapter day. Expect the next on on the 27th and then regularly updated every other Thursday thereafter. 
> 
> I missed you guys.


	9. Choice

Rose flinched every time Kanaya moved. 

That was standard and expected. It didn't surprise either troll nor human. The blonde was more relaxed around Kanaya but her guard hadn't faltered. Maybe it never would. Rose wasn't entirely sure she could shut it down if she had wanted to. After the raid and the torment she'd experienced, even Rose herself expected the fight to have left her. It didn't. She knew that human survival instincts were a horrible bitch. 

Kanaya didn't waste anytime. Rose didn't know much about trolls other than the dangerous and erratic killer instinct they seemed to have when it came to humans. However, she could tell that Kanaya had experience taking care of someone and tending to wounded. She didn't know how the troll had leapt into action so quickly but she had. She'd offered Rose to shower and was already cooking food for her. She didn't even prod her further on what had happened or where she'd been.

Sadly, to Rose, this was all too good to be true, once again. So she flinched every time the troll moved.

She did get to take a shower though, which was as heavenly as it had been before. The warm water spread across her skin and softly erradicated the dirt that clung to her body. Rose even scrubbed under her nails to remove the excess of dirt build up. However, no matter how wonderful clean hair and skin felt, it wouldn’t remove her wounds.   
The bruises stayed and the cuts and scrapes shown even brighter. One of the cuts on her ankle burst at the contact and bled carefully on the clean, white shower floor before leaving a red trail down into the drain. 

Rose's hands slid over her left thigh and she cringed and sucked air in through her teeth. The pain was intense. It was a wonder that it wasn't affecting her ability to walk. She bit her lip but refused to look at it. Rose had been ignoring that wound since the day she'd left Cronus. She knew it had to be in bad shape but she'd been in worse right? 

Gingerly, she let her fingers trail over the practically open and festering area on her hip. It was wet but she was in the shower right? She moved her fingers into her field of vision to check for blood. It was faint, but there was also something sticky that stuck to her fingers and could not be mistaken for water. It was yellow. She cursed lightly under her breath and let the shower water remove the substance from her fingers. What could she do? It wasn't as though she could see a healer. These things ran their course right?

After the shower, Rose put her clean clothes (Thanks to Kanaya) back on. She ripped a piece of her pants off at the end and pressed it against her hip. She tried hard not to moan at the pain but it was too intense. Whatever the wound was dripping with held the piece of fabric in place on her hip. Rose shivered. She still refused to look at it. 

When she made her way carefully down the hall, still wary of the carpeting on the floor, she found Kanaya waiting for her in the kitchen. There was so much food Rose had no idea how Kanaya had prepared any of it that quickly. 

She didn't try and sit on the floor this time but she had to mentally remind herself not to do so. 

"You look a lot better. You almost showed up at my door in a worst state then when I found you in the bookstore." Kanaya offered Rose a small smile and motioned at the food to let her eat. 

Rose didn't move as fast as one so hungry should have. She was still careful. She still looked like she was waiting for the sky to open up above her and a lightning bolt to rain down directed at her. It was too much for her to comprehend that Kanaya and her home could be a safe place. There were no safe places. There was nowhere to relax. 

"You...saved me again, apparently..." She said as though defeated. Rose wasn't exactly happy about the fact she couldn't take care of herself in that situation. She was upset she had gone to a troll for help and care. She wanted to do everything on her own and the last thing she wanted was for Kanaya to think her weak. 

"A thank you will suffice, I assure you." Kanaya responded. She had begun eating and Rose took that as signal it really was alright. "I'm not going to expect anything from you, Rose. I'm not...going to expect you to stay." 

Rose's grip tightened on her fork and she bit her lip. No. She definitely wouldn't stay but why did Kanaya want her to do so? To keep her safe and to take care of her? To know where she was at all times? Regardless of how you looked at it that sounded too much like a pet scenario and Rose refused to submit to such a thing. No matter how kind or gentle Kanaya was...or seemed.

"Okay." was Rose's only response. 

"I'm glad you came back here. You obviously thought it was safe to do so." 

"...What about your...friend? She was your friend, right or am I mistaken? Is she going to...say anything?" 

Rose had been concerned about the troll that had been Kanaya's company when she arrived for some time. If that troll told any kind of authority figure about what happened they could both be in trouble. Rose more than Kanaya. However, what the jade blood was doing was still illegal. She'd be charged heavily for harboring a stray and not turning her in immediately. Rose had to remind herself that was the case. Kanaya was really sticking her neck out for the human. 

"Don't worry about Vriska. She's got a horrible hot temper but she'd never put me in danger. Turning you in would do that so I'm sure she'll keep herself in line. I'm sorry about what she ...how she reacted to you this morning. That was unacceptable and I apologize on her behalf." 

Rose looked up from her food to meet Kanaya's eyes. She had a quip prepared. Something just darting enough to be directed more at this, Vriska then at Kanaya. However, what she saw in the trolls eyes stopped her. Pity. They were filled pity and Rose couldn't stand it. She didn't need sympathy from a troll. She didn't need pity from anyone. She didn't need anyone. 

She tossed her fork to clang against her plate and shook her head. "Don't look at me like that!" She shook her head. "I've been through shit but I can take care of myself. I'm not asking about that girl because I'm worried for myself, I'm asking because I'm worried about you!" 

Rose tried to get up from the table and that was her mistake. She moved too fast and she shouted in pain, gripping in the table for support. Her hip was on fire. The shower had reopened the wound and it was too noticeable to ignore. 

Kanaya immediately moved into action, of course. She steadied Rose and helped her to sit back down. "You are injured. I knew something was wrong. What is it?" 

Stubborn as always, Rose clenched her teeth. "It's nothing, it's fine." 

Kanaya, however locked her eyes onto Rose's and tightened her grip on the girls shoulder, gently. "I do not pity you. I think you may be the strongest human ...or troll that I have ever encountered. You are not soft by any means Rose. I did not mean to have you mistake my concern for pity. You're extremely strong. Most would not survive what you have been through. I'm concerned and I wish to help only because you don't deserve the hand you were dealt. Not because I think you cannot handle it."

Rose didn't say anything at first. She was quiet and she carefully sat back down in her chair, shifting awkwardly against the pain. She stayed quiet as she stared at Kanaya, trying to figure out how this troll was so different from every other troll she'd ever met. She didn't understand. It was foreign and she worried that she was going to end up letting her guard down. Perhaps she already had by coming here in the first place. 

Without words, Rose unzipped her tattered hoodie. She wore a ragged sports bra underneath and you could easily count her ribs. She saw Kanaya's face grow more concerened but what it shown with when she looked at Rose's hip was something more akin to horror. 

"Rose, what...in the world..." Rose knew what the wound was from and she look over Kanaya's shoulder and focused on the stove. She wouldn't look at it. She couldn't bring herself to be faced with the damage. She knew it was bad. She knew she'd ignored it and let it fester for nearly six months. This was her fault. 

"Rose, talk to me. What is this? What happened to you?" 

The human bit her lip and sighed through her nose. "...That...is where my tracker was inserted."

Kanaya understood. She must have. She didn't say anything while she assessed the damage. She didn't touched it either, which Rose was thankful for. "...Rose this is...badly infected."   
Rose tightened her grip on the kitchen table. What would Kanaya do? They'd both be arrested if she was taken to a doctor. Kanaya would be arrested and Rose would be killed or worse. They'd certainly never see each other again. 

Rose wasn't simply a stray from the human center or from a pickup. She was escaped from a previous owner. She'd be forced to spill that information regardless of her tracker and tags being gone. Once they found out they'd contact him. They'd contact him and he'd decide her fate. Either to be returned to him or killed. She knew those were the options that would be laid out for her. Cronus would never allow something he owned to be put up for adoption again. Besides, who would want her? An escaped and damaged sixteen year old human with violent tendencies and a knack for escaping? No...She'd be killed. There was no question. 

Kanaya reached out, without Rose's knowledge to press lightly against the reddened skin around Rose's open wound. When she did so, Rose yelped. Partially from pain but mostly from surprise. She jumped up, causing herself more pain and stumbled backwards. Kanaya pulled her hand to her own chest an apology clear on her face. She was about to give it to, when Rose cut her off. 

"N-no. Don't apologize. I...I can't even look at it. You just...caught me off guard, that's all. It's okay." Rose was breathing heavy and trying to calm herself down. Kanaya had never hurt her in the short time they'd been around each other. She'd hardly touched her. She wasn't about to start causing harm now and logically, Rose knew this. However, it wasn't as easy to put it into practice. 

She eased herself back into the chair, Kanaya kneeling next to her on the floor to further examine the damage. "...Rose...This has to be looked at. I don't have the medical expertise to do anything...This is already out of control. If you let it go much longer..." 

The blonde shook her head. "Kanaya...I can't. I can't see a doctor. I don't have a tracker or tags. They'll ID me the second I walk in. You know what that means for both of us. I can't..."

Kanaya shook her head and was quiet a moment. "Rose...look at it." 

Rose took in a shaky breath and shook her head. "...I...I did this. I ignored it and assumed it would sort itself out. I had no knowledge of how to tend to it in the first place. I covered it and assumed it would heal...however..." 

"Rose. Look at it." 

Kanaya wasn't going to let Rose talk her way out of this one. She wanted her to see the damage and the human knew why. So she would have to acknowledge how bad it was. She bit her lip and took a deep breath and let her eyes trail down her skin. 

An entire chunk of Rose's hip was missing. The exit hole of her tracker. In its place was a festering open wound that practically led you to her bone. It probably would have, had it not been for the yellow and green pus mixed with blood that stood in its wake in a chunk of infection. An outer ring of purple tinged the wound before winding into red. The red, then spread out from her hip in maroon spots that varied in size. 

Rose didn't even shudder. She knew it wasn't going to be a pretty sight. Kanaya was right. This couldn't go untreated. She'd die or lose her leg. Her instincts of living on the streets kicked in before she could think rationally. "Give me a knife." She asked of Kanaya, who paused.

"...Why?" 

"I'm going to cut out the infection. Maybe if I can clear away that chunk of yellow and green it will-" 

Kanaya cut her off this time. "Rose. No. You can't do that. This is beyond both of our control. You cannot cut out an infection. To be quite honest, those red spots look as though it's spreading. I'm not a doctor and neither are you. We have to do something. You won't last like this. In fact, I'm surprised you've lasted this long...How did you not notice this pain before?" 

Rose shook her head "I don't know, I think the shower softened it...It opened up. I ...Have been avoiding it." That was clear and Rose knew there was no reason to say it out loud. "...I can't go to a doctor. What am I supposed to do other than cut it out?" 

She felt panicked and trapped. What was she going to do? It wasn't as though her life mattered much. Maybe she should just allow the wound to take its toll on her. At least that way she'd have some time, right? No...it would be a slow and arduous process. She couldn't do that to herself and she knew it. 

However, she wasn't going to allow herself to be returned to Cronus. Whether it was in one piece or not. She couldn't bare the thought of such a thing. She'd rather die. She'd rather take the slow and painful death it would cause her before she allowed herself to be returned to her former owner. It was unbelievably unfair. She'd ripped out his tracker and his ID's and yet still he held a grip on her. She couldn't get away from him. It had been six months and he still was lingering. She was gripping the table again, her knuckles white.

Kanaya bit her lip. "Please, Rose. I think I can figure something out. I have friends who can look at it. Trolls you can trust. Also, somewhere I think I can take you without any harm coming to either of us. But, Rose, please understand...You have to trust me for any of this to work. You have to trust me completely. I cannot do anything for you unless you find a way to let me help you." 

Rose gripped the table tighter. Take her where? To whom? Who would keep such a secret and help out a stray human? One who had forcibly removed the mark all trolls left on humans? There was no troll alive that would do that. 

Well. Kanaya had done it so far. However, that proved nothing. That was one out of one million and Rose was pretty sure Kanaya was a rare case. Especially after she'd watched the troll from earlier attack her on sight. But to trust Kanaya completely? Rose didn't know if she had it in her. 

"Rose, listen to me. If you do not get that looked at it you will die. That infection will not wait. It will spread and it will get worse and slowly it will kill you. I am amazed that you can manage your mobility so well." 

The blonde shivered and spit out her words in a frustrated and panicked tone too quickly. "I don't know what to do." 

Kanaya moved in Rose's peripheral vision, as Rose had chosen to return to staring at the stove. Kanaya moved slowly and Rose felt her fingers brush lightly against her white knuckles gripping the table. Rose didn't flinch. The movement was too slow and gentle to warrant defense. Which was quiet a feat on Kanaya's part. Everything warranted defense for Rose.

The blonde let the troll place her hand on top of her own. This caused the human to begin to shiver, although it wasn't from the cold or from fear. She slowly let her hand uncurl from the table and quietly flip over to slide into Kanaya's. Kanaya threaded her fingers with Rose's with gentle ease. 

The human didn't know what to say. She didn't even know why she'd allowed it. It was done without thinking. Rose always thought. Every angle, every route, every movement, every possible scenario. She had let this happen without hesitation or worry. It had just occurred like an impossible fact. Rose's heart burned inside her chest. She had to admit it now. It was staring her in the face. 

She was terrified. 

Kanaya continued to kneel next to her and the troll held her hand while they sat in silence. Rose didn't know what to do. She felt trapped and frustrated. This was a problem that could not be fixed from running or fighting. She couldn't physically or psychologically overcome this. How in the world was she expected to see a troll doctor and be treated? How could this possibly not end in death or Cronus? She'd take death. Death would be merciful. Cronus would not.

"...You feel warm. You could have a fever, as well. That can be caused by your hip. You're clearly sick...and injured. Please, Rose."

Silence for nearly a minute before the response came, quiet and careful. It almost seemed to echo off the kitchen walls. "...What...do I have to do?" Rose asked and braced for the answer.

"For...starters. You have to stay for now. You can't go running around the city, avoiding Center Patrol in that condition. Furthermore, I wouldn't know how to contact you once I'd figured this catastrophic mess out. Please, Rose. I'm begging you." 

Rose didn't know what to say. She tore her eyes from the kitchenware to settle on Kanaya. She looked so concerned. Her green eyes were careful but desperate. She truly did want to help the human and that was a concept that Rose could not grip. She didn't understand it at all. Not even when it was right in front of her. 

And _god_ , despite the situation there was no denying the trolls beauty. Even practically sitting on the kitchen floor and begging Rose to stay in a desperate attempt to keep her alive she was stunning. It …was an odd feeling for Rose to have. The thoughts ran into each other in her head and caused a traffic jam of epic proportions. Kanaya was right, regardless of how delicate and gorgeous she looked. Rose had to trust her for this to work, whatever her plan was.

"...I'll stay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been through hell for the past year or so but I don't want to get into that. I do apologize however. What I've discovered is that this story is very dark. And because it is very dark, its hard for me to stay as focused on it. Especially when I have had so much dark of my own to deal with outside of it. 
> 
> I can't promise you I'm back for any sort of regular updates but I can give you this and my apologies for disappearing. I know how frustrating it is to find a story you love unfinished. Things should be looking up for me though. I'm moving in with my girlfriend in a month to Virginia. 
> 
> Hopefully, you'll hear from me soon!


End file.
